Diary
by magick-field
Summary: I't been a year since Axel's death, and Roxas writes in a journal about his past, and what happened between them. Warning: Yaoi, don't like, don't read... Rated T to be safe, for a bit of swearing. Complete. Sequal Coming soon hopefully
1. Chapter 1

This is my first story ever, i'm sorry the first chapter is very very short, the paragraph division and some of the spelling might be off,

sorry about that, but i'm trying to get better at writing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

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**Chapter 1:**

_I thought we would be together forever. I imagined us just sitting together. We wouldn't have to talk or do anything. We would just be together. Why did you leave this world? And why couldn't I come with you?_

I sigh and put down the red and black checkered book I was writing in.

"Hey, Roxas! Writing in your diary again?" I hear my brother Sora say to me, as he walks into my room.

"It's not a diary." I reply. "Please, Sora. I need to be alone right now."

"Fine." I wait until Sora leaves the room, before lying down on my bed and hugging the book tightly to my chest. As soon as I close my eyes, the memories come flooding back.

_~*~ Flashback ~*~_

"Hey, Axel! Writing in your diary again?" I ask as I walk into his room.

"It's not a diary, Rox. But, yeah I am writing." He replies.

"What'cha writin' 'bout?"

He laughs. "About how much I love you."

I can feel myself blushing as I sit down beside him. "I'll love you forever." I whisper.

"I love you too."

_~*~ Flashback End ~*~_

Roxas opened his book again and began to write. Write about him and Axel, from the moment they met, until the moment he left.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 is also vey short, but a bit longer than the last. This the first fanfiction I've posted, so...yeah... um, this chapter is getting a bit weird... so, no flames please, but if you have any tips on how to help improve my writing, please say.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

Please review

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**chapter 2**

Axel told me to write in this book. I guess i'll write about us, more in a story sense. Not a diray entry. I don't care if I have to sit in my room for days, I will write everything... So, here it goes.

It started as a normal day. I met with my brother in front of the school.

"Hey Sora." I say as I walk over beside him and lean against the brick wall of the school. A few minutes later, Demyx and Zexion joined us. Demyx wasn't very serious about school, just his music. Zexion was the opposite, he could sit and read all day if he wanted to. Despite the difference, the two were best friends. I guess opposites really to attract.

"Hey!" Demyx yelled to us.

"Hey, Demyx." I say.

Then came Riku. Cool and calm, Riku was the guy everyone worshiped... Well, I didn't really care about him, Zexion didn't really care about anything, and Demyx was Demyx. But Sora seemed to freeze, and stare whenever Riku walked by. Unlike me, Sora was social and immediatly went to talk to him on the first day of school. They quickly became friends, but lately, there have been signs that say Sora thinks of Riku as something more. There's the opposites attracting again.

But that was the day there was a new face. He walked up the steps and through the door before I could get a good look at him, but he had spiky, crimson coloured hair, and seemed to have two dark tear-shaped markings under his eyes.

As it turns out, he was in my first period english class. He silently took a seat beside me as class started. Poetry. Oh joy. Not that I have anything against it, I actually like reading poems and lyrics. I just, can't write them. I could sit and think for hours, and come up with nothing. Maybe a title if i'm lucky. Last year I paid Zexion $100 to write me a poem for class. $100 for 100% on my assignment.

The bell rang and I started down the hall to my next class, but was stopped when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around. It was the guy with the red hair.

"I'm Axel. Got it memorized?" He said.

"Uh, yeah." I stared into his emerald green eyes. I wondered if they were natural or not. I looked closer, but I couldn't see any contacts. I realized that I was probably staring.

"Sorry." He said. "I say that a lot, it's a bad habit. But I was wondering uh.."

"Roxas."

"Roxas. I was wondering if I could borrow your english notes. Poetry isn't my strong point."

"Sure." I replied. "But poetry isn't my strong point either." I reached into my bag and handed him the notes. As Axel took them, our hands touched for a moment. At that moment I felt a wave of emotion run through my body. I wasn't sure what that feeling was.

We walked to our next class together and I took a seat next to Sora. Axel sat to my right.

"Who's your new friend?" Sora asked casually.

"That's Axel." I replied. "Axel, I want you to meet my brother Sora." Axel turned to look at Sora.

"Hey, nice to meet you." He said.

"You too."

That's how it started. The day that started the string of events that changed my life.


	3. Chapter 3

**So sorry** about all the spelling mistakes and stuff in the other 2 chapters, i'll fix it someday. I wrote the first 2 chapters last night and I was so tired. Chapter 3 I started to write in a 5 hour car ride. Didn't get too far. The rest I wrote just a while ago, and i'm so tired. I'm always tired when I write chapters, but if i'm awake I can't get inspiration. Is anyone else like that? Anyway, hopefuly there will be less mistakes in this one. I think I got most of them.

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**Chapter 3**

All I drempt about that night was poetry notes and terms. I remember that because it was the worst dream I ever had. When I was a kid I had nightmares, but they didn't really bother me. I knew that dream would carry on into the day and become reality. I woke up, got dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. Leon was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper.

"Did you sleep okay?" He asked. "You look terrible."

"Oh thanks." I replied sarcastically. "I couldn't sleep, I had a bad dream. Well, a nightmare, really."

"What did you dream about?"

I sighed. "Poetry notes." At that moment, I noticed Sora standing by the stairs, trying not to laugh at me.

"You had a nightmare about poetry notes! Wow Roxas, you need help."

I replied, "You would too Sora, if..."

"If what?" Leon and Sora asked in unison.

"Nothing." I grabbed an orange from the fruit bowl before heading out the door. Sora hurried out the door after me. The walk was silent as usual, but it wasn't awkward. It had been a routine we had done for years, and was the only time of the day Sora could keep his mouth shut.

We arrived at the school about ten minutes early, and waited outside for Demyx, Zexion, Riku... and now Axel? I didn't really expect for him to meet us at the door.

"Hey, Roxas!" He said. "Thanks for the notes." He reached into his bag and gave them to me.

"Thanks. But... uh, you can keep them!" I said quickly, running inside the building.

"Did I say something?" I heard him ask Sora.

"No." Sora replied. "He just has a note problem is all."

I got my books from my locker and headed to math, first period. I was still early and didn't notice that Axel was in the same class. He took a seat beside me. "Uh, sorry?" He said looking confused.

"It's not your fault." I replied.

"Then what is it?"

"Well, it started with a dream, well a nightmare really, and there were poetry notes, and some feeling-wave-electric-shock thingy, and emerald pools you could get lost in, then I got lost in them I think, only I was still there, then Sora said I had problems, and the orange was silent on the way to school, like always, 'cuz oranges don't talk, neither does Sora cuz it's routine ya know? Arrggg I dunno what i'm saying. Sorry."

I realized I said most of that in one sentence, and I was out of breath when I finished. Axel just kind of stared at me with a puzzled look on his face.

"I didn't catch any of that. Could you start over?" He asked. "Wait, never mind, don't."

_'I just made one of the worst second impressions ever.'_ I thought.

"No you didn't, it was a bit funny." Axel replied. I realized I had spoken out loud. There were still a few minutes before class, and I saw Axel take out a red notebook and a pen. He started to write in it, so I decided not to bother him.

My other three morning classes were boring, since I didn't have any of my friends in them. Zexion was in my art class, but he just read all class, so I didn't want to disturb him. I felt relief when when lunch came. I got a tray and stood in line. A few seconds later, Sora came up to me.

"Hey, Roxas." He said. "I heard about your word-jumble this morning, I thought you stopped doing that?"

I sighed. "It still happens sometimes."

"When you get flustered, right?" Sora had brought lunch from home, so he walked toward the table. I followed him soon after, with my lunch tray, and sat down across from Sora. A few minutes later, Zexion, Demyx and Riku arrived. Riku sat next to Sora, and Zexion and Demyx sat together.

That's when Demyx started talking. Oh, joy. He's a good friend, but sometimes, he's just too much.

"So I was talking to Zexion this morning and I noticed he looked kinda tired, so I asked him if he was tired, he said no, but he sounded tired. Remember Zexy? Then you said you had to get to class, but after that is the funny part, this guy walks up to me and-."

I started to tune out, hoping he wouldn't pull me into the conversation. I heard someone sit beside me and noticed it was Axel.

"Hey! Axel! Thank God!"

"What?" He and Demyx asked in unison.

"Oh, uhh.. nothing." I laughed nervously and looked around the table. Everyone else seemed glad that Demyx stopped talking.

"Hey, everyone." Sora started. "This weekend I was thinking we could all go to a movie, then get something to eat. I think it would be fun. To celebrate the start of final exams!"

Everyone groaned. "Why would we celebrate that?" Asked Riku.

"Because, the sooner they start, the sooner summer starts!"

"Sure, i'll go." Said Axel immediatly.

"I'll ask Leon." I said.

"It's already okay with Leon!" Sora replied. To tell the truth, I didn't really want to go.

"I'll be there!" Shouted Demyx.

"Same." Said Riku and Zexion.

"Okay then, it's a date!" Said Sora.

* * *

When I got home that day I looked at the calander. Tuesday. So I had some time to try and figure out a way to get out of friday night. I sighed and walked into my room. I had a feeling the week was going to by quicker than I wanted, so I decided I'd better think of a plan soon, or else I would be dragged to dinner and a crappy movie with my friends.

'_What's with me and my sudden fear of poetry?'_ I thought. _'I don't think most of my little word-scramble was about the notes. Maybe it was about Axel? There's just something different about him.'_

I was right about the week going by quicker than I wanted it to.


	4. Chapter 4

**I** update really quickly because I have nothing better to do, but I think I should spend more time getting the chapters longer, and still how I like them. I guess if I just have short chapters, but I update more often, it'll make up for it. Again sorry for any spelling mistakes and other mistakes, i'll fix them someday! Tomorrow is April 11th! A.K.A 411, yay! I don't think i'll write a fanfiction, but maybe add something to this story in the next chapter, if I have it up by tomorrow. Also I think I forgot the disclaimer last time. 821 words in the chapter only.

Disclaimer: I do not own kingdom hearts, and I did not own it in the chapter(s) where I forgot the disclaimer!

**

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**Chapter 4**

For the rest of the week, everything and everyone seemed to be against me. Wednesday was hell. I woke up late and had to skip breakfast. I ran out the door and nearly got blown away by the wind. When I finally got to the school, I was 20 minutes late for my first period.

"Roxas, You're late." Said the teacher,

"Sorry." I said.

"I'm afraid you'll have to stay after school to make up for the pop quiz this morning." I sighed and took a seat. It took me a moment to realize I was sitting beside Axel.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." I didn't really want to talk to anyone, even my friends. I studied quietly for the rest of the class. When the bell rang, I got up and left class, onlly to trp in the hall a few seconds after.

"You okay?" Asked Axel.

"The world hates me." I replied. The rest of the morning went like that. I tripped two more times, walked into a wall, dropped my books and got pushed into the side of a locker. By the time lunch came I was a wreck. I had multiple bruises forming on my arms and face, and to make it worse, I realized I forgot to bring a lunch, or any money. I sat down silently next to my brother, and rested my forehead against the table.

"Wow you look awful Roxas! What happened?"

I looked at Demyx and relplied, "Just the usual. Life hates me." Demyx looked consfused, and tilted his head to the side.

* * *

The rest of the day went pretty normal, except in art. Somehow I got crazy glue in my hair, and I would have to cut it off when I got home. It was right in front, on part of my bangs, too. Zexion looked up from his book and smirked when we saw me. I tried all class to get as much of it out of my hair as possible, but failed. At the end of class, I went and stood outside by the front door, to wait for Sora. When he saw me he burst out laughing, and it took a minute for him to calm down.

"What the heck happened to you!? Wait, don't tell me, the world hates you, and is attacking you with crazy glue, Right?"

"Pretty much." I replied. "Can we go now?"

Most of the walk was silent, but for the first time in years, Sora broke the silence.

"Is anything wrong, Rox?" He asked.

"I don't know." I said. "I think it's the whole friday night thing. I just have a bad feeling about it. Something's going to happen, I just know it."

"You're just being paranoid. Calm down!" Now that I look back on it, I think I was being paranoid. Nothing unusual happened. The rest of the walk had an uncomfortable silence. When I walked in the door, me and Sora sat with Leon at the table. There was also un uncomfortable silence there. Finallly, Leon spoke.

"So, how was your day?" He asked.

Me and Sora both replied at the same time.

"Bad."

"Fine."

"Why was your day bad, Roxas?" Asked Leon. Sora answered the question for me.

"Because the world hates him, and it beat him up today, that's why he has a bruise on his shoulder." Me and Sora left the table, and walked up to my room.

"I don't have a bruise on my shoulder." I told him. Sora laughed.

"You do now!" He punched me hard on the arm. "That's for not telling me what's really going on inside your head."

"I already told you!" I replied.

* * *

By the next morning, my arm stopped hurting. _'I hope today will be better.'_ I thought. It was better, until I realized I had forgotton to stay after school to write the test. "Dammit!" I said.

"Damn what?" Asked Sora.

"I forgot to write the pop quiz after school yesterday."

I wrote the test during lunch instead. That's the second day in a row I didn't eat lunch. Maybe that's why I felt so sick on the walk home. I ended up passing out. When I woke up I was in my room, with Sora sitting next to me. "What happened?" I asked

"You passed out." Sora said. What a simple answer.

"Oh."

"Are you okay, Roxas?" He asked me. "You haven't really been yourself lately."

I sighed. "Maybe I am paranoid like you say, Sora. But I know something bad is going to happen on friday. That's what's really going on inside my head." Why did I keep saying that. I feel silly now that i'm writing this down, looking back on the events.

"This is about Axel, isn't it?"

"Why would it be about Axel?!" I replied a bit too quickly.

"I dunno, I just thought it might." Sora sighed and walked out of my room.


	5. Chapter 5

I just finished this chapter at like 11:58pm. Right now it's midnight which means, happy 411!! it'll be a while 'till this chapter actually shows up, but it will still be 411... so in this chapter I added Vexen and Marly... but it'll be like the only chapter they'll be in... probably. anyway... um... this chapter is twice the length my other longest one is... hope i can make more long chapters. these may be some of the funniest moments you see, before the story turns... anyway, please review... unless you don't want to. Please, no flames... sorry again for any spellinf mistakes... there i made one now... um SoRiku has been added, along with possible Cleon... and for now, obviously one-sided AkuRoku... maybe 1 1/2 sided... i dunno yet

I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS... lol, i think we all know that by now

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**Chapter 5**

Friday morning. Oh joy. _'My doom is only hours away.'_ I thought. I sighed and got ready for school. Sora laughed at me. "Wow Roxas! I like what you did with your hair!"

"I had no choice." I said. I put my hand over my forehead, where now, a good chunk of my bangs were missing. "I couldn't just leave the crazy glue in!"

"You're crazy!" Sora laughed again, before taking an apple from the fruit bowl, and biting into it. I really prayed that Sora would choke that morning. The walk was silent, but Sora bit his lip and tried not to laugh every time he looked at me.

We waited outside the school together, I was still covering my bangs, or, what was left of them.

"Hey! Roxas! Do you have a headache or something?!" Demyx. _'I do now.'_ I thought.

Zexion appeared from behind Demyx and sighed. "I bet he does now."

"Why is that?"

Zexion just shook his head. Just then, Sora grinned evily. '_What's he up to?'_ I thought.

"Hey, look." Sora said suddenly. "It's Axel." My head immediatly turned. I didn't know why. Everyone burst out laughing. "Roxas! You actually looked? I can't believe you."

I turned my back to my friends and started hitting my head against the brick wall.

"I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself." I started chanting. "I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate mys-."

"Oh, hey Axel." I head Sora say."

"I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT SORA!" I yelled. I continued. "I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself."

"Not falling for what?" That. Was. Axel's. Voice. _'I really hate myself now.'_

"Oh nothing. Hey Axel." My forehead was still against the brick wall. I turned around slowly. I rested my back against the wall, eyes closed, and sighed. When I opened them, I realized Axel was standing only a few feet away from me, looking concerned.

"Roxas." He started. "I don't know how to put this. Uhh... You're a mess!" Axel handed me a small, round case. I opened it. Inside was a mirror. I really was a mess. My forehead was red, scratched and now bleeding lightly, which you could plainy see because of my lack of bangs. What was left of them were stained red.

"Oh shit." Those were the only words that came out of my mouth. Axel pulled something else out of his bag. (_Does he have everything in there?)_ He pulled out a small package, and inside it was a moist towl. He started to wipe the blood off my forehead with it, which was very embarassing. Everyone was staring at me silently.

"Is that better?" Axel asked after a minute.

"Uh, yeah." I replied slowly.

*~*~*~*~~*

The rest of the morning went slowly, it seemed like all my friends were awkwardly staring at me whenever they saw me. That wasn't really true, it just seemed like it. Lunch time made everything seem normal again. I brought a lunch from home, feeling relieved I had a lunch for the first time in days. "So, tonight's the movie/dinner, huh?" Asked Axel. _'Are you actually supossed to say the word 'slash' like he did?'_

"Yep!" Said Sora. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Same." Replied Axel. "Mind if I bring a couple friends with me?"

"Sure! The more the merrier!"

_'Oh great.'_ I thought. _'Things just got 200% worse.'_

~*~*~*~*~~*~*

I walked slower than usual on the walk home, but Sora kept the same pace as me without asking questions. Leon greeted us at the door. "Hey, you said you'd be meeting your friends at 5 right? You better get walking if you want to make it on time."

"You're not driving us!" I exclaimed.

"Hell no, I've got work to do." He replied.

"You'll probably just be playing solitare." Sora muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Sora ran upstairs to his room to get something. When Leon focused his attention on me, I just shrugged. Sora retured a few moments later. "Okay! Let's get going!" He shouted.

Even though we were both 16, nethier of us had a car. The movie theater was across town, about a hour's worth of walking. We only had 45 minutes. "Step on it!" Sora yelled at me.

"Step on what? That's an expression normally used when when some one has _a car_. Something your too lazy to get."

"You're just as lazy as me, Roxas!" He replied.

"Fair enough."

"No time for 'fair enough'! We gotta move!" Sora grabbed me by the wrist, and practically dragged me along the sidewalk, because I wasn't quite as fast as he was. The whole 25 minute run was like that. When we got to the movie theater I was gasping for air. We had only saved a whole 10 minutes by running anway. We would have made it there with lots of time. IIt wouldn't have taken an hour even if we crawled there...

"Leon lied to us!" I yelled. "We had lots of time!"

"He probably just wanted us out of the house." Sora replied calmly.

"Why?"

"I dunno. Maybe he wanted to be with Cloud?"

"With a cloud?"

"No!" Sora said. "Not _a cloud._ Cloud. He's-..."

"Sora?" I asked sharply. "Who. The. Hell. Is. CLOUD?"

"Uh..." He stammered. "No one!" I sighed, slightly annoyed. I grabbed Sora's wrist and pinched it. Pinched the hell out of it! When I was done, there was a bruise, and a steady stream of blood, coming from the place on his wrist where I had pinched.

"Now." I smiled in satisafaction. "Who the hell is 'Cloud' again?"

Sora looked terrified. Taking a step back he said, "I heard him talking on the phone last week, for, like, hours, to some guy called Cloud! They were talking on speaker-phone so I heard it all. It got kinda weird at one point, they were calling eachother 'babe' and stuff like that. He's proabably just some guy he's going out with! That's all!"

Leon wasn't just our older brother. He was our legal gaurdian after our parents died in a car crash 2 years ago. He was like a brother/parent to us, and the thought of "Leon and Some random guy named 'Cloud'" kinda creeped me out. A lot. I lost whatever appitite I had.

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION SORA!" I screamed at him.

"You're the one that asked."

I yelled at him again. "Think of it this way! If I was dating some guy, you and Leon probably wouldn't want to all the details about it! It's like if you were going to-." I never finished that sentence, because I heard laughing from behind me. I slowly turned around, and saw Axel, and two other guys standing behind me.

"H-how long were you st-standing there?" I asked slowly.

Axel laughed. "Since, 'If I was dating some guy'. Not a good thing to scream out in a homophobic town Rox."

I could feel my cheeks burning. "I didn't mean it like that! You all know I didn't mean it like that!"

That was the second time that day I had been embarassed in front of, or because of Axel. But it wasn't his fault. They were all my own actions. The second time I shot myself in the foot for yelling at Sora.

Axel squinted at me for a second. "Do you have a problem with your brother dating 'some guy'?" _Keyword: guy._

"Not really." I said. "It's just that, he's kinda like a parent to me, that's all."

"Oh." Said Axel. "By the way this is Marluxia." He looked over at the man standing beside him. He had this _pink_ hair... It just screamed GAY. No offense Marluxia. "And this." Said Axel. "Is Vexen." He pointed at the other man. He had acid green eyes, and long-ish blond hair. The vibe I got from him also screamed GAY. I mean no offense, I have nothing against it, like I said to Axel, but it's just a bad kind of gay... Is there a good and bad kind. I mean I guees if there was, they would be the bad kind. They looked like molesters. Anyway. Marluxia looked at Vexen from the corner of his eye and smiled. A few moments later Vexen smiled back. At that moment the two of them basically screamed GAY MOLESTERS TOGETHER. Again, no offense. Those two just creeped me out is all.

We all waited for Zexion, Demyx and Riku. Who always seemed to arrive together, and fashionably late. As if on cue, the three of them walked side by side, through the door. It was in those movies where, everything goes in slow motion, as the cool kids enter the scene. Then one one of them flips their hair, and the other looks down at us middle-class students.

Yeah, it was kind of like those movies, but not really at all.

The slow motion part worked, but as Riku ran a comb through his silver hair, it got stuck. Demyx tripped over his shoe lace and landed flat on his face. Zexion took out a book, making him look like a nerd. After Demyx got up and Riku got the comb out of his hair, the rest wasn't like the movies either. Riku walked casually up to Sora and kissed him gently on the lips.

"When did you and Riku ge-." I started. I got cut off by Demyx. He ran up and hugged me really tightly.

"Roxy! Hi!" He yelled into my ear.

Zexion was already half-way across the movie theater, reading quietly. Demyx ran up to him, tripping again along the way. I could still hear what Demyx said, even from that far away.

"You've been reading the hell out of that book, Zexy. Seriously. And you can only see outta one eye, that's bad, you might go half-blind, and have to wear half a pair of glasses. Or maybe a whole pair to look normal, but they would be normal glass on one side. I think you'd look cute with glasses Zexy!" It was also very out of character for Demyx to swear.

I couldn't hear what Zexion said, but it looked like 'shut up.' Yeah, their entrance wasn't exactly like in the movies. Speaking of movies which was what we came there for, we ended up being late.

~*~*~*~*~**~*~

"Hey, Roxas?" Asked Axel.

"Yeah?"

"What movie is this again?"

"I don't know, or care." I replied. I really didn't care about the movie.

Axel smiled. "That's what I like about you Roxas."

"What?"

"Nothing." He said. I could feel him lightly clinging to my arm.

* * *

Dinner also wasn't so special. Marluxia and Vexen kept staring at each other every so often. _'Get a room!'_ I thought. I looked up from my spaghetti once, and noticed Axel staring at me intensly, but looked away when he saw me look up.

"Hey, i'm getting a ride home with Riku 'kay?" Said Sora.

"Umm.. Okay?" I was going to have to walk home alone, because I had a feeling they were going to do more than driving in that car. The thought made me shiver.

"I'll drive you home Roxas." I heard Axel say to me.

"Sure." I replied.

I sat in the front seat of the car, as Axel started to drive. The car was silent the whole way, and I couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable with the silence. After a minute Axel broke the silence, by quietly humming to himself. He obviously disliked the silent void too... Suddenly he stopped the car, and I realized we were already at my house.

"Bye, Axel." I said.

"Wait." He said. I looked at him. He just kind of stared into my eyes for a second. He then lightly brushed his hand against my cheek, and I realized his face was just inches from mine. His gaze never left my eyes, even for a moment. "Roxas I have to tell you something." He said.

'What is it?"

He moved his face a bit closer to mine. He was kind of invading my personal space now, and I felt kind of uncomfortable.

"Hey Roxas! Have a good time tonight?" I heard Leon's voice. I whipped around and saw him standing on the front porch.

"I'll see you later Axel." I said. He looked kind of disapointed.

"W-what did you a-ask Leon?"

He replied to me, "I asked if you had a good time at the movie tonight."

"Oh u-uh... Y-yeah." I said quickly, and went up into my room. Sora was alreay home and he had his door locked. I walked into my room and flopped down on my bed.

'_What was Axel gonna say? Could he... like me? No. We're just friends, we just met. He doesn't like guys. I don't like guys. Why would I think he would say something like that?It was probably because he was just a bit close is all. I'll ask him tomorrow. I'll see, it will be nothing. Not this.'_

I tried to talk myself out of the possibility that Axel might _like, _like me, but my gut instinct said otherwise.


	6. Chapter 6

**10,38.** I guess as long as my chapter has at least 1000 words, i'm okay with it, though I didn't want to end the chapter so soon. Wow, this is like Deja vu, Ijust wrote down that note a minute ago, but my computer froze, so I wrote that again...

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!more deja vu...

**chapter 6**

Study. That's what I had to do all weekend. I had to sit in my room for hours studying for the stupid final exams. I mean, I had free will, but if I wanted to get a decent mark, I had to give up my life for a few days. Sora came in my room a few times, asking me what I was doing. "Studying." I told him every time he came in. "And if you had any common sense, that's what you'd be doing too."

Sora sighed. "I'm doing research! Not for school, but still."

"What are you researching?" I asked. I noticed Leon walked by us in the hall, but stopped to stand behind Sora, and hear the conversation.

"I wanna find out more about this 'Cloud' guy." He said, not knowing Leon was there.

I replied simply. "It's none of your buisness." I really did want to know more though.

"Yeah, but we gotta protect Leon! Cloud could be a stalker or something! That's why i'm gonna look up his name on that one website. Family watch dog for Twilight Town and area."

Leon crossed him arms and sighed. "Cloud isn't a stalker, Sora." I've met him before, and how do you even know about him?"

"Umm..."

"He listened to your phone conversation from outside your room." I jumped in.

"Sora!" Leon exclaimed.

I continued. "He recorded the whole thing on his phone, then got Clouds address and waited out in front of his house, when he was _supposed_ to be in math class."

"Sora!" He said again. "How could you?" Leon had a dissapointed look on his face as he left the room.

"Roxas!" Exclaimed Sora. "That last part wasn't even true!"

I laughed evily. "That, my dear Sora, is revenge."

~*~*~**~**~*~*~*

Sunday was basically the same routine, except for the revenge part. Instead, Axel called, looking for the answer to one of the chemistry problems. I was going to ask him what he was going to say on friday, but decided against it.

~*~**~*~*~*~*~

For the remaining two weeks of school, school days end at lunch, but there are two weeks worth of final exams. I thought last wednesday was hell, I was wrong. Final exams are worse. I hurried to school that morning, hoping to ask Axel what he was going to say. We waited outside the school as usual, but for some reason, Axel didn't join us. I didn't see him at all.

"Hey, Sora? Have you seen Axel today?" I asked my brother during lunch.

"Nope. Haven't seen him all day." He replied. "Why?"

"Oh, I just wanted to ask him something, that's all."

The rest of the day was boring too. Everyone just seemed quiet. Even Sora, for once, didn't have much to say. I guessed it was probably because Axel wasn't there. I know that sounds a bit dumb, but he just seems to be the fire of the group. The fire that keeps everything light and alive. I guess that fire died when he wasn't there.

* * *

I woke up on Tuesday morning, and remembered that today was a chemistry exam. Mostly long answer, with a few multiple choice. I sighed, reluctant to get up. I poured some milk over a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table. A better breakfast would help me think better. Sora had the same idea, and joined me soon after.I breifly saw Leon's face before I left, and he still looked a little annoyed with Sora. No, I didn't feel sorry at all, even though most of my embarassing moments over the past few days, were mostly my fault. But he did play a role in my embarrasment. Sora didn't look mad at me anymore, so that was good. We walked to school together as usual, and waited outside by the door. I noticed Axel by the parking lot, standing over by his car. I walked over to him.

"Hey Axel."

"Oh, hey Roxas." He said.

"Umm, Axel?" I asked. "Out of curiosity, what were you going to tell me on friday?"

"Oh.. uh..." He started. His face got a bit red. (I can't believe I was so oblivious at the time!) "I was just gonna say... I'm glad to have you as a friend." He turned and looked away from me. Axel was terrible at lying.

"That's nice of you to say." I smiled, and paused for a moment before I continued. "But now, I'd like you to tell me what you were _really_ going to say." Just then the bell rang, telling students to report to the gym for the exam.

"That was... what I was really going to say." Axel was still looking away, blushing slightly. I sighed, hoping to see him again after school.

~*~*~*~**~~*~*~**~*

_'Ok, question 1,'_ I thought silently. _'__Which of the following is the smallest container that could hide enough plutonium to make an atomic bomb capable of destroying 40 city blocks? __What kinda question is that?'_

_'Question 2: __Oxygen "always" has an oxidation number of -2. But there are several exceptions. In which of the following compounds and ions does oxygen have an oxidation number of +2?' _(Ok, I hate myself for not paying attention in class.)

_'Question 3: __What intermolecular forces do geckos use to stick to walls and ceilings?' _I gripped my pencil tightly, in frustration. And just because I had enough of this already, I wrote "Who the hell cares?" in the answer box.

~*~**~**~*~**~*~**

I was so glad I made it out alive that I ran out towards the grass, and started running around on it.

"What the heack are you doing, Roxas?" I heard Sora ask. I ran over to him, grabbed him by the wrist and started dragging him along with me.

"I'm so happy to be alive!" I said. From the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of red hair. Axel. I immediatly stopped, let go of my brother, and walked up to Axel. He pretended not to notice me.

"Hey, Axel." I said. "Sorry about earlier, if you don't want to tell me that's fine."

He smiled sadly. "No, Roxas. I really should tell you. 'K, the truth is..."

* * *

Mehaha Cliffhanger!!! i'm gonna start putting notes at the end 2, but use double line divider things, cuz sometimes, in my chapters I use them, sometimes i just use ~*~*~**~, theres no difference in meaning...but oh well. What was Axel gonna say? O_o...


	7. Chapter 7

**I think **I fixed mots of the spelling mistakes in this one, but maybe not. Um... I do not own Kingdom Hearts! I forgot what else I was gonna say.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"No, Roxas. I really should tell you. 'K, the truth is... Well, I think I might love you."

I just couldn't believe it. That he loved me. Or might. What was _really_ unbelivable, is that I _didn't notice it._ I should have, I just didn't.

I stood there for a moment before I replied, "Were, best friends, right?"

Axel replied. "Yeah. We are. And, if you feel uncomfortable around me now, because of what I said, I'll try to hide those feelings, 'kay?" He smiled weakly.

"Uh, sure." That was all I could say. I mean, something like that is kind of a lot to take in. A lot to think about. Sora walked up to us, still looking a little dazed from earlier.

"Hey, Axel." He said. "Roxas, we should go now, we have a lot of studying to do for tomorrow."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Um... see ya."

'_Is it just me, or does the walk home seems longer?'_ I thought.

"It's just you." I heard Sora say.

_'I said that out loud?'_

"Yep."

"I said that out loud too?" I asked him.

"Yeah, you did." Replied Sora. "You also asked that question out loud."

"I know that." I said. After that the walk was silent again, but in a weird way. I glanced over at Sora. At first he had a straight face, but after a few seconds, an evil grin appeared.

"I totally saved you!" He blurted out suddenly.

"What?" I asked.

"Just before we left!" He replied, still grinning. I felt myself blushing a bit.

"I- I have no idea wh- what you mean."

When we got home, I went straight up to my room, and opened my math book. I stared at the thing for hours, but none of words seemed to register. It was like I was staring at another language. _'Math is usually easy, what's wrong with me?'_ I sighed. That was one question I already knew the answer to. _'It's about Axel. But how am I supossed to tell him I don't feel the same way?'_

I heard a knock on my door. "Come in." I said. Sora came into my room.

"Hey, Roxas?" He asked. "Axel invited us to eat ice cream with him on top of the clock tower. Zexion, Demyx and Riku will be there too. Do you want to go?"

"Sure." I said. "I can't concentrate on this anymore."

Sea-Salt ice cream. My favorite! The view on the clock tower was amazing, you could see all of Twilight Town from up there. And the sunset... It was like something I'd never seen before. Magical almost. "I'm glad we get to do this together all summer." I heard Sora say.

"Yeah." I agreed.

~*~***~*~*~*~

I skipped breakfast the next morning, and left the house before Sora. I desperatly needed to talk to Axel. I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate until I did. When I got to the school, I was surprised to see Zexion sitting alone by the door, reading. He never came this early. And he _never_ came without Demyx. They always showed up at the same time, and whenever Demyx didn't come to school, neither did Zexion.

"Hey, have you seen Axel?" I asked him.

"He's not coming today, he's sick. When he called me this morning, it sounded pretty bad."

"Oh." I said. "Where's Demyx?" Zexion ignored the question, and turned back to his book. He looked kind of sad too. Just then, I heard footsteps from behind me. Seconds later I couldn't see. I guessed someone came up behind me, and covered my eyes.

"Guess who?"

"Sora." I said. "Who else would it be?" He uncovered my eyes and stood in front of me.

"Roxas? Why the hell did you leave me behind?"

"What the hell, Sora." I said. "You shouldn't swear, it sets a bad example. Do you ever hear me swearing?"

"Umm... you jus-."

I cut him off. "Never mind that. We should go insdie now."

~***~**~*~*

_'Here we go again.'_ I thought. _'__What is the smallest of four consecutive odd integers whose sum is 968?' _Umm... _'__What is z if 2.5% of z equals 75% of 50?' _Damn. _'__What is the smallest prime factor of 1001?'_

Dammit. This stuff is usually soooo easy. _'__What is 2% of 7%?'_ I finally gave up and fell asleep in my desk. The teacher woke me up 2 hours later, even though It only felt like minutes.

We went to the clock tower again afterwards. I was surprised to see Axel there waiting for us, he seemed fine. I still didn't talk to him much, but he seemed fine with it. I just didn't know what to think anymore. Sora sat on my left, and Axel on my right. As I watched the sunset, I found myself quietly singing to myself.

_"Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you  
You are my only, my only one."_

"You know your singing out loud, right." I heard Sora ask me.

"Yeah, but it wasn't very loud." I replied.

"Yeah." He said, "Only the people right beside you could probably hear." I felt my face heat up as I slowly turned to look at Axel. He was smiling at me, but not in a way that looked like he was laughing at me. My face got redder as I realized what he was probably thinking about me. And, _again_, about what he said to me.

After we finished our ice cream, we all walked around town for a bit, enjoying the cool, fresh air.

_"Made my mistakes, let you down  
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long." _

I heard Axel quietly singing beside me. _'I guess he knows that song too.'_ I thought. I seemed to be the only one who noticed his singing.

~~*~**~*~**~

It was hard for me to get to sleep that night. I couldn't get that song out of my head.

_"You are my only, my only one." _

"Maybe." I whispered. "Maybe Axel is, my only one." I sighed. "No! What am I saying?" _'What's wrong with me?'_

* * *

~*~*~**~*~**~

**Okay.** I remember now. I do not own the song. Only one, by Yellowcard... I love that song, even though yesterday was the first time I listened to it, I've known about ti for a long time. That song might play kind of an important role in the story... maybe, maybe not...


	8. Chapter 8

**Yay.** Chapter Axel! I just call it that 'cuz it's chapter 8... It's nothing special, nothing different.

I Do NOT own kingdom hearts...

* * *

**Chapter 8**

I didn't get much sleep the night before, so on Thursday morning, I was like a zombie. I kept hitting the 'snooze' button on my alarm clock. After doing that about four times, I looked over at the time. 8:15, dammit. I usually left the house around 8. I quickly got dressed, and ran out the door, skipping breakfast. I started to run to school, even though I had time. When I was about half way there, I slowed down a bit. It gave me time to think. _'I can't love Axel. Can I?'_

When I finally got to school, Sora was waiting in the usual spot by the door with Demyx and Zexion. "Why did you leave me?" I asked my brother.

"Because you left me the other day!" He replied.

"Oh." That was all I could say. Just then Axel walked up to us and joined the group. I felt myself blush a bit. My face got even redder when I realized _why_ I was blushing. _'Dammit, no! I don't feel this way!' _I looked away and pretended to cough, so I could hide my face.

"Today is the english test right?" Axel asked.

"Yeah." Replied Sora. "The first of many." We walked into the school as the bell rang. I knew It would another failing test for me.

~**~~**~

_'Ok, read the poem, then answer the following questions.'_ I read the poem, then continued. 'In _line 35, when the poet mentions "Someone who lived in turning to fresh tasks," he is referring to a person who:' _Ok, you know what? Screw this, I'm not writing any more of the test questions that I failed. (I know i'm the only person who will ever read this journal, but maybe Axel can see what i'm writing, and then he can know my side of the story.)

After the test, me and Sora went home to study for a while, then went to the clock tower again. I had a hard time getting to sleep, and when I did, all I could dream about was Emerald green.

~**~~**~

I ate breakfast on friday, at least.

It was quiet when we got to the school, there were only a few cars parked, and none of our friends were there yet. I sat down beside Sora in the usual spot and sighed. I guess no one wanted to take the French language test. Why did we even learn that language? I mean, it's not gonna help me in life. After a few minutes Demyx arrived...without Zexion? Did Hell freeze over? Did pigs fly? Was there a freaking Blue moon on new years eve? 'Cuz the impossible just happened!! Demyx was also very quiet. He didn't say a word, he just sat down beside Sora and sighed. I didn't bother asking. (It's one of those mysteries I still don't know the answer to.) A moment later, Riku sat down beside Sora and kissed him on the nose. I still wasn't used to that. I checked my watch. There were only a few minutes until the bell would ring. '_Where's Axel?'_ I thought. As if on cue, he walked towards us from the parking lot.

"Hey, Roxas." He said. He sat down beside me. _'I wish he would kiss me on the nose too.'_ That was the first time I really admitted something like that to myself, and didn't deny it afterward. I started blushing again.

"Hey, Roxas. Your face is red." Sora pointed out to me.

"Shut up Sora." I said. The bell rang and we all stood up, but I was ready to punch Sora in the gut. I knew it was a bad idea, but I tried it anyway. I aimed and swung, but Sora dodged it, and I ended up hitting the brick wall. That wasn't the first time that brick wall tried to kill me. Sora burst into laughter and I tried to pretend it didn't hurt. Again, my fault. Trying to get back at Sora, and failing. In front of Axel. Could my life get any worse?

~**~~**~

The test was surprisingly easy. All you had to do was translate the sentence or paragraph. Finally, questions I could answer.

The rest of the week was like that too. I got injured and humiliated several more times... In front of Axel. There were six more tests, and I could finally concentrate on them. A world studies test, another math quiz, another english quiz, chemistry, and 2 more english tests. Everyday after the tests, we went up to the clock tower. (I'm not adding much here, because basically, all the days were the same.)

~**~~**~

I remember all the deafening cheers coming from the other students as they walked out of the school for the final time that school year. Everyone ran outside including me. Demyx looked super hyper, and even Zexion had a faint smile. It's because we knew we were free. Free from stress for two and a half whole months. I didn't exactly know what I was going to do, I just knew I could relax and not think about anything if I wanted. Demyx came up to me and yelled in my ear, "We're free! Roxy, we're free from the evil grasp of what people call education!"

I backed away slowly. That was the best thing to do in that kind of situation. I was glad he was back to his normal self at least.

"Hey, lets go celebrate!" Demyx yelled again.

"What should we do?" Asked Zexion. He seemed back to normal too.

"Well, there's this dance thingy, to celebrate summer, and stuff... It's just a few blocks away from the school too!" Demyx suggested.

Riku jumped in, "The fact that you called it a 'dance thingy' makes me think this is a bad idea."

"I agree." Said Zexion.

"Please, Zexy?" Whined Demyx. "It'll be fun. I'll be there!"

Zexion looked away for a moment, then sighed, and reluctantly agreed.

"Fine." He said.

"I still think this is a bad idea." I said. Axel walked up to me and tried the same tactic Demyx used.

"Please, Roxy?"

"That's not gonna work on me, ya know."

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you." Axel replied.

"I'm not going." I said.

"Fine." He replied. "Don't go. I'll just find some girl to hang out with. I'll dance with her, and we'll have a good time _together._ Then I'll take her up to the clock tower at midnight, to celebrate the first day of summer. And we'll watch the fireworks and-"

"Ok, FINE, I'll go!" I yelled. _'Why did that really bug me just now?'_ I thought. _'Because you love him.'_ A part of my subconcious mind said.

"Let's all meet back at the parking lot in an hour, then we'll walk together."

~**~~**~

When I got home I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Then I went upstairs to change. After that, I was about to go wait downstairs, but stopped in front of Sora's room. I knocked on the door. There was something I needed to talk to him about.

"Come in." Shouted Sora. I opened the door, and sat down on the bed, beside my brother.

"Sora. I need to talk to you about something serious." I said. The usual goofy grin dissapeared from his face, and his look became serious.

"What?" He asked calmly.

"Sora, I think I might be in..._love,_ with someone. And I really don't know what to do."

"What's the situation?"

"Well, I know they love me, and when they told me, I didn't feel the same way. But now... Now I think I do."

"You should just stay calm and try not to think about." Sora replied.

"But It's hard to do that! It's hard not to think about this, when I see him...DAMMIT, I mean _them_ Everyday!"

Sora sighed. "You have to learn to roll with things better. You already know Axel loves you, so it shouldn't matter as much how you feel. I mean, If you don't love him, he'll understand, and if you do, well that's great! You just have to learn to accept yourself no matter what you feel."

I smiled. "Thanks Sora." I started to walk out of the room, then paused and turned around to look at him. "Wait, how did you know I was talking about Axel?"

He replied. "I just guessed...But you told me just now, so I know for sure!"

'_Dammit.' _I thought. _'I should have known.'_

"Come on." I said. 'We're gonna be late.

~**~~**~

We met at the school around 1:00. The party went until 6. Then we would get something to eat together, walk around a bit, then go to the clock tower. The fireworks would start at midnight.

"What are we gonna do at this stupid party?" I asked.

"Dance." Replied Sora.

"For six freaking hours! What the Hell Sora? You expect me to live through that?"

"Yeah."

"No way." I said.

"Roxas." I heard Axel say. "_Remember_." He stretched the word out.

"Fine." I said again.

* * *

~**~~**~

**Um...** I just kinda ended this chapter... I coulda added the party, dinner and fire works in this if I wanted to...but i wanted to get this chapter out... And i'll save it for next time...

please review...or not... you don't have to if you don't want to


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank** you all so much for the reviews. I was actually thinking of stopping my story for a while, mostly because I was lazy, but I continued. Anyway, sorry for spelling mistakes, and uh... lol 411 street. I update so often, mostly because I don't have anything better to do... even though I should be studying, oh well... I hate math...  
I DO NOT OWn Kingdom HEARTS

* * *

**Chapter 9**

We took our time, slowly walking side by side, stopping to look at the scenery. Axel had the address in his hand.

"Where the hell are we?" I asked.

"Um..." Axel started. "That's a good question."

"411 street." Sora said.

"How do you know that?" I aksed.

"'Cuz there's a sign that says 411 street. Right here." He replied. I sighed.

"Where are we going?" I asked Axel.

"House 11, on this street. Oh, there it is." Axel said pointing to a house. It. Was. Huge. Well, for Twilight Town it was. Three story building, with a beautiful front portch and a bunch of other stuff. I don't know a lot about houses, but it looked like a mansion. Axel rang the doorbell. No answer. He pressed the button again. The door flew open.

"Dammit, you don't have to ring the bell so many times!" Standing at the door was Marluxia, the guy who was at the movie that Friday. And thank God Vexen wasn't with him.

"Wow!." Axel exclaimed. "You live here now?"

"Yep." Marluxia replied.

"It's way better than that dump you used to live in." Axel shuddered, obviously a bad memory came to his mind.

Marluxia continued. "It wasn't a dump, now do you want to come in or not?" Axel sighed, and motioned for us to come in. The inside of the house was even better. The dance floor was right in the middle of what was probably the living room. We were surrounded by flashing colored lights and blaring music. It was a bit overwhelming. Marluxia waved at someone to come towards him. It was Vexen. Dammit. "Our friends are here Vexen." Marluxia said.

'_Friends?'_ I thought. _'I am not his friend, and never will be.'_ I just smiled and nodded.

*~**~~**~*

It had only been an hour, but it felt like eternity. I danced for a bit, then sat down on the couch for the other 50 minutes. At least it wasn't a really crazy party or anything. No alcohol, and they had a mix of slow songs and faster ones. I saw Marluxia and Vexen run up the stairs together a while ago, *cough* and hadn't seen them since. Demyx was still up on the dance floor with Zexion, who looked bored. Sora and Riku? I dunno. And Axel was walking toward me with two glasses of...punch? Seriously, God knows what's in that stuff. They call it 'punch' so you don't know what's really in it. And it's just lying there in a big bowl on a table, so you don't know how many people could have spit in it.

"Here, Roxas. Punch?" He held out a glass.

"Um, I'm not gonna take a chance on that stuff." I said.

"Ok." He smiled at me. I didn't really think about it until then, but he was really good at hiding his feelings. If he didn't tell me he loved me, I wouldn't have guessed. And it's not _my_ fault, i'm not oblivious. He just does a really good job of hiding those emotions. He probably does it so there's no awkward moments between us. At that moment a familiar song started playing.

_Broken this fragile thing now  
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces_

That couldn't be just a coincidence. Playing _that_ song. After I... But it had to be a coincidence.

_And I've thrown my words all around  
But I can't, I can't give you a reason_

"Excuse me, young lady, may I have this dance." Axel stood in front of me.

"What, is this _our _song now?" I joked.

"Only if you want it to be." He said seriously. I laughed lightly and took his hand.

_I feel so broken up (so broken up)  
And I give up (I give up)  
I just want to tell you so you know_

I didn't care that people were staring at us. I was enjoying myself, and it seemed to make Axel happy. "You know, I'm amazed that you agreed to dance." He said.

"Well." I started. "Maybe it's because I-"

"Axel!" Sora shouted from across the room. "Axel, how do I get this off?" We both turned to look at Sora. His hands here bound together in front of him, with a peice of strong chain, and a cheap diary lock. Riku, who stood beside Sora, smirked.

"Just a second." Axel said to me. I followed him, wanting to know how that happened to my brother.

"Axel, I can't get this off." Sora whined. "How do you get this off?"

"Like this." Axel grabbed onto the chain, and pulled on it, hard. The chain snapped and fell to the ground.

"I didn't want you to break it."  
'_Will he ever stop complaining?'_ I thought.

Sora continued. "I meant to ask, how do you get it off without breaking it?"

Axel replied. "Well, Sora, you would use a key." Sora looked annoyed, while Riku looked amused. Axel turned back to me. "Where were we?"

"You were being a moron."

"Right, I remember now." Axel replied, with a serious look on his face. That made me laugh. I hated how he could always make me laugh, but I loved it too. We sat back down on the couch.  
"Do you think this has alcohol in it?" Axel asked, pointing to the punch. "You know, it probably does. That would explain Sora.

"No, he's always like that. But I think it does."

"Should I try some?" Asked Axel.

"Go for it." I replied. "It's gonna be a long night, we still have five hours at this party, and it might help things go by faster. Plus, you alreay act like a drunk, so no one would notice."

"That deeply hurts me." Axel said sarcastically.

_*~**~~**~*_

A couple glasses of punch later, me and Axel knew there was _definitely_ alcohol in there. I don't know what I was thinking, but I thought I would regret it in the morning. (The only reason I did regret it, is because it encouraged me to drink after the fireworks too.)  
"Roxas, you're too young to drink." Axel reminded me.

"Shut up, so are you." I said.

"You think Leon will be dissapointed in you?" Axel asked.

"Nah." I said. "I remember he told me that if I ever drank at a party not to drive home that night, and if I was too young to drive, don't drive home with anyone that night. I think he was serious." There was a moment of silence.

"Hey Roxas?" Axel finally said.

"Yeah?"

"Will you marry me?" I looked over at him, and I could tell he was joking.

"Sure." I said sarcastically.

"You don't sound convinced."

"Oh, sorry." I said. "Yes, Axel I will! I will marry you! I'm the happiest girl in the world!"  
"Is that any better?" I asked. I turned to see Axel smirking at me. Of course. Demyx and Sora were sitting beside me, laughing. They obviously heard that.

"Oh wow Roxas!" Sora said. Demyx was laughing so hard he couldn't say anything. Zexion was standing next to Demyx. He just smiled and shook his head. I hid my face in my hands. Axel kept going, to see how I would react. He held out a small back box.

"Open it." He said. I sighed an opened it. Inside was a small gold ring with an emerald green stone in the center. Very girly. Axel took the ring out of the box and slipped it on my finger. My face turned red as I looked at Sora. He knew how I felt about Axel, which probably made funnier for him. Still, the whole marriage thing was just a joke. Duh.

The rest of the party went by quickly, and soon we were leaving, to go to the resturaunt. "Nice ring." Riku said to me. I blushed again.

"Hey, don't blame me." I siad. "I was drunk."

Riku laughed. "There was no alcohol, Roxas. It was all in you head." I turned to glare at Axel.

"You tricked me! I swear, there was something in that crap! Something!"

"Sure there was." Sora replied sarcastically.

"So much sarcasm tonight." I said. I'd better not see any more!"

~*~~**~~*~

It was about 7:30 when we finished eating, and we decided to just kill some time. "Seriously, what are we gonna do until midnight?" I asked.

"We could camp out on the clock tower! Like camping!" Exclaimed Sora

"That's a good idea!" Said Demyx.

"What are we gonna do?" I asked. "Tell ghost stories around a camp fire?" Axel face lit up when I said 'Fire'.

"Yeah!" Replied Sora.

"I was being sarcastic, Sora. I thought you'd know my by now."

"Well you said you didn't want to hear any more sarcasm remember? And the ghost stories thing is a good idea."

So that's how I found myself sitting in the twilight with Sea-salt Ice Cream, four idiots and Axel. (Yeah, my friends are awesome.) "Hey. Roxas?" I heard Axel ask. "Bet you don't know why the sun sets red. You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest."

"Like I asked. Know-It-All." We both laughed. Axel already finished his ice cream, so when I wasn't looking, he took a bite of mine. "Hey!"  
The sun went down and it was dark out. The only source of light, was from a flashlight Sora brought.

"Ok, lets tell ghost stories!" Sora declared. "Roxas, you go first."

"Me? Ok then, uh... It was a beautiful evening. The sun had just gone down and there were millions of stars twinkling in the sky. It was just then, that-"

"Get on with it already!" Sora yelled.

"Some guy got stabbed to death, The end. And his name was Sora." Demyx was clinging to Zexion and shivering.

"That was the scariest story I ever heard!" He said quietly. A bird chirped from somehwere and Demyx screamed. The rest of the night was like that too. Some one would tell a story, and Demyx would get even more freaked out. Axel's story was the best though. It was a scary story, he told it perfectly, and the timing of the birds and other natural sounds were at perfect timings, startling us from time to time.

"It's 11:59!" Shouted Sora. We were quiet for a moment. "I said, It's 11:59!"

"We know." I said. Riku put his arm around Sora's waist and Zexion moved closer to Demyx, which was a bit out of character for him, but it made Demyx happy. I half expected Axel to do something, but he didn't.

_'If you feel uncomfortable around me now, because of what I said, I'll try to hide those feelings, 'kay?'_

I remembered what Axel said to me. _'I really do love him.'_ I thought. I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder. It felt so natural.

"10, 9, 8, 7." I could hear Sora counting down the seconds. "6, 5, 4, 3-." _Ding. Ding. Ding._ I could hear the clock as the fireworks started. "Dammit." Sora said. He continued counting anyway. "2, 1, happy summer!" He shouted. More fireworks exploded in the sky.

"Happy summer." I heard Axel whisper in my ear. I looked up at him, and his lips pressed against mine. I blushed again, but I didn't care about that.

"I love you." I said. And I knew I meant it.

"I love you too." Axel replied.

* * *

**Yay.** That was supposed to happen sooner in the story, but oh well, it works... please review...or not!


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry **for the really short chapter, and the longer-than-usual wait for the update... I had writers block (and still do) and i dont' like the way this chapter turned out at all. and it's too hard to rewrite it... so i'm just gonna put the rest of what i planned for this chapter into the next one, and hopefully that one won't suck as much...

I don't own KH (kingdom hearts)

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Like I said before, I _did_ regret drinking that night. I'm not sure why I did it. Maybe it was because I had a lot on my mind. Or maybe it was because I had nothing to worry about, so I decided to celebrate. I also followed Leon's advice and didn't come home that night. When I woke up the next morning, two inches from Axel's face, I freaked out.

"What happened last night?" I asked.

"Good morning to you too." Axel replied calmly.

"What happened last night!?!" I asked more urgently. "Seriously! 'Cuz I'm here and your there, and we're.... What happened?! I remember drinking!" Axel burst into laughter. It took a second for him to calm down.

"Nothing happened Rox. I just wanted to see how you would react if you woke up next to me, and the last thing you remembered is drinking. You should have seen the look on your face just now!" I felt my face turn red.

"Axel!"

"What?" He was still grinning.

"...Good morning." I got up and washed my face before sitting down on the bed again. I had a headache. "Hey, Axel. Where are we?"

"My house." He said. I didn't really get a good look at him until then. He didn't look so good. His face was _really_ pale and he had dark rings under his eyes.

"Uh..." I started. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah." He replied. "I've just been feeling a bit sick lately." His house was really small, but also nice. It actually looked like a hotel room. It was all mostly one room. The TV was on a stand in front of the bed. From where I was sitting I could see a small kitchen, a door that led into the bathroom, and another door, which appeared to lead outside. Axel handed me a piece of toast. "Here." He said.

I grabbed it and bit off a piece.

"Dammit! Everyone's probably worried about me! The last time they saw me was when we all split up last night. Sora's probably at home now telling Leon that I ran off with you and was never seen again! I should really go. Bye!"

I ran out the door, waving to Axel. I choked on my toast while running. Twice. (I've never done that again since.)

"Wait." I heard Axel's voice from behind me. I don't why I kept running. It's not like I was running away from him, I just wanted to get home. I felt him arms wrap around my waist, and I stopped, the toast still dangling from my mouth. He rested his head against my shoulder for a second before taking the toast away from me with his mouth.

"Hey, that's my breakfast!"

"I thought you wanted to get home?" Axel joked. I shook my head and laughed lightly.

"I really should." I said. "Everyone's probably worried about me. And you should maybe get some rest. You really look sick."

"Ok." He replied. "I'll come over later." He waved to me and started walking back to his house.

I burst through the door and ran into the living room. "I'm so sorry I wasn't home!" I panicked. Sora looked up at me from on the couch, and waved casually.

"Hey Roxas." He said casually. He didn't seem to be worried. "Fire works were nice last night, huh?"

"Y-Yeah." I stammered. Just then Leon walked down the stairs next to some guy with spiky blonde hair, who I assumed was Cloud. The doorbell rang. "I'll get it." I said. Axel was standing at the front door.

"Hey." He said.

"I thought you went home. You were supposed to get rest!" I exclaimed.

"I did." He replied. "And now i'm back." I sighed and let him inside. We sat down on the couch and kind of stared at everyone in awkward silence.

"So...." Sora said. He was trying to break the silence. It didn't work.

"Uh, this is Cloud." Leon said.

"Hey?" He said. It sounded like he asked a question. Yeah, this was akward.

"Well, I should go now." Axel said quickly. "Uh...Nice to meet you Leon. Cloud." Then he was gone. Cloud went back upstairs. _'What is he even doing here?'_ I thought. As soon as those two left, so did the awkward moment.

"So, was that _the_ Axel that Sora's been talking about so often?" Asked Leon.

"Yeah." I replied.

"He seems nice."

"Yeah."

"You were drunk last night." That wasn't a question. He actually seemed ok with it.

"Yeah."

"Stop saying 'Yeah'."

"Ok." I said.

I headed towards my room. "Yeah." I muttered under my breath. Sora giggled beside me. I looked over at him in confusion. "Your acting like a 10 year old girl." I said.

"It runs in the family." He replied.

"What?"

"Well, first there's Leon. You saw how he gets when he's with Cloud... Ok, yeah, I don't wanna mention that, it makes me sick. And there's you when your with Axel."

"How do I act like a girl?" I exclaimed.

"You've done that word-jumble thingy so many times lately around him. You thought I wouldn't notice?" He laughed.

"Ok, I give up." I said.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapters **10 and 11 were originally supposed to be one chapter, but I thought chapter 10 was bad, so I put the rest of it in a new chapter, but that chapter isn't the greatest either...so, they're both about the same length...next chapter it starts getting sad... :( We all knew from the beggining, that it would happen... and yes, this chapter kind of had a Diary entry within a diary entry...

I do not own Kingdom Hearts.... :P

* * *

**Chapter 11**

_The summer wasn't going how I planned. Not that I had anything planned, it just seemed a bit weird. Different. Cloud seemed to be over __**way**__ too much, it just wasn't normal. Sometimes he would drop by in the morning for about 2 seconds; other times he would stay for hours, and he would just make himself at home, looking very comfortable, like it was his own house! I mean, come on! Get a life, and make sure it's not here! I have nothing against Cloud, except his name makes him sound like a wuss and everyone (except Leon) seems very uncomfortable around him. What scares me the most are the nights where he stays here...*Cough* _

_Also, I've been worried about Axel lately. He seems pale, weak, and he barely eats anything. Either he's living off of Sea-salt Ice cream, or something's seriously wrong. I asked him about it on a few occasions, but he just laughed and told me to stop worrying. I have a right to worry, I just know something's wrong! He knows he can't hide it from me forever._

I sighed and closed the notebook I was writing in. I remembered Axel was always writing things down, so I decided to try it. I locked the door to my room before going downstairs. It was unusually quiet lately. I walked slowly down the familiar path to Axel's house, stopping every so often to look at something. After a while, I stopped in front of his house. House number 813...I didn't bother knocking.

"Hey, honey, I'm home." I said sarcastically.

"Nice one, Roxy." Axel was sitting on the bed, watching...HGTV? Interesting choice.

"Your actually watching that?" I asked.

"Yeah. A while ago, they burned down a house! Don't ask why. You should have seen it!"

I laughed at my pyro friend and sat down next to him. Just being around him made me smile.

"Hey, lets get some Ice cream!" He said suddenly.

"That's like, the only thing you've been eating lately! You should try eating real food for once!" Axel laughed.

"It's um...a new diet." He stammered.

"You really think I'm gonna believe that?" (He was thin enough before.)

"Yep."

I heard Axel cough as we walked together toward the ice cream store, but I decided to ignore it. A few more coughs while we were eating, one when we were walking back to his house, followed by a sneeze. We were almost through the door, when he tripped.

"I've just been a bit weak lately." He said,getting up.

"Axel, I'm worried about you!" I blurted out. He kissed my on the forehead.

"Don't be." He said softly. I went and layed down on his bed. A moment later, he walked over, and layed down next to me. He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me closer.

"Axel, you're hot." I noted.

"I know." He smirked.

"No, I mean you have a fever!" I blushed.

"Oh." He replied. "Am I hot though?"

"Sure, why not. But I really think something's wrong!"

"Am I too _hot_ for you, Roxas?" He joked.

I blushed a bit more. "I'm serious, something's wrong!"

He replied, "And I just asked a serious question." (At that moment, my face looked like this: T_T)

I sighed. "Fine, Axel, your on fire. And oh look! You just burned to death." (T_T)

"Fine by me. If I had to choose how to die, I would choose to burn." I always loved the way he would change subjects. Even though it was annoying, it was funny too.

"Hey, Roxas?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"Don't ever leave me."

"I promise." I replied.

I got home that night around 10, and when I walked by Leon's room, I wished I had stayed at Axel's. *Cough*noises*Cough* (Scarred for life.) I went to check on Sora. He was curled up in a ball on his bed. He looked like he was in shock. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"The day I finally move out of here, I will jump for joy." He showed no emotion.

"Uhhh?"

"Leon." He said.

"Oh. Don't even start! He's our brother, we should respect his decisions...You know what, your right. I'll also jump for joy when I leave." (Our faces looked like this: O_O)

Sora continued. "And can you believe that he's actually trying to hide it from us! I mean, it's so obvious! He's worse at keeping secrets then you are!"

"What does that mean?!" I shouted.

"..." Sora grinned. I turned around to hide my face. "You couldn't hide Axel from me!" He said.

"Sora, why are we related?" I sighed.

"Because," He replied. "I'm your eternal punishment."

"Oh, great." I walked into my room and flopped down on the bed. I guess I fell asleep like that.

_'When am I gonna tell Leon about Axel...Does it matter? Does anything matter...Axel should go to the hospital...Why? There's nothing wrong with him...is there!?'_

I found myself thinking and dreaming about a million things that night. But my thoughts kept coming back to one subject. Axel.

* * *

**Yeah...** umm... yeah. I didn't wan to keep Cloud in this long, because obviously, Roxas doesn't like him, and he's not really and important character in this story, maybe he will be, I dunno. And uh... I don't think they've ever burned down a house on HGTV, but I was watching that channel when I first started this story, so...you know?... O_O


	12. Chapter 12

**Finally!** A longer chapter... Let me just say that even though this story was meant to be sad, I put a lot of funny moments in, I guess... um... I made a bet (I sound like Luxord) that if I didn't finish this story by the time I go to Victoria, I owe my friend $5...I guess i'm gonna owe her $5, cuz i gotta be up at 5am TOMORROW MORNING... and i gotta pack, and all that stuff, plus, I don't want to rush this story...but I guess another 3 or 4 chapters, and it'll end...no way I can do that in 3 hours or less...

* * *

**Chapter 12**

The slight sound and feel of my phone vibrating in my pocket woke me up. I checked the clock. It was 2am. I checked my phone. There was text message from Axel. _"I feel like shit. Roxas, get over here." _I groaned and sat up. My hair was a mess, and I was still wearing yesterday's clothes. I went quietly downstairs and out the front door. Instead of walking slowly as usual, I practically ran to Axel's house. I was greeted by the familiar numbers, _813_. The 8 looked like it was about to fall off. That was kind of what Axel looked like. About to fall asleep, forever. The thought made me shiver.

"Hey, Axel! Writing in your diary again?" I asked as I walked into his room.

"It's not a diary, Rox. But, yeah I am writing." He replied.

"What'cha writin' 'bout?"

He laughed. "About how much I love you."

I felt myself blushing as I sat down beside him. "I'll love you forever." I whispered.

"I love you too." He closed the book and put in on the table beside him.

"Axel, you look terrible."

He sighed. "It's just the flu, or a bad cold or something." I put my hand up to his forehead. He had a fever again.

"Please get better soon." I whispered.

"Promise." He agreed. Then his eyes closed. It was only for a moment, but I still got a sick feeling in my stomach. I guess he could sense that.

"Don't worry." He laughed weakly. "As long as your here, i'll still have a reason to open my eyes."

"Don't talk like your dying!" I exclaimed. "You'll still be here tomorrow and the next day and the next day! And we'll always eat Ice cream together, and go to school together, and be together forever! Only dying people talk you were! And your not a dying people...er, person..."

He laughed again.

I sighed. "We'll be together forever." (If only that were true.) He pulled me closer and I fell asleep in his arms. (I know that seems kinds fluffy and over-used, but that's really what happened.)

~_~%~_~_~))~(*

The next morning, I didn't really care if anyone was wondering where I was.

"You looked much better." I observed as Axel got up and washed his face.

"I guess I just needed some sleep."

"I...guess." I didn't fully agree, but I was glad that he looked better. "Ice cream for breakfast?" I asked.

"Sure, why not?" He said. We walked hand-in-hand to the ice cream store. People no longer stared at us when we did that. Not that I cared what other people thought.

"Let's go meet Sora and them later." I said, looking at the amazing view.

"Sure." He replied. "And then we could all-" I heard him gasp, then silence. His head fell against my shoulder with a light thud, and I had to hold on to him to make sure he didn't fall. A moment later, his eyes opened.

"There's something wrong you Axel, I just know it!"

"Nothing's wrong." He sighed.

"Then what was that?"

"It's just uh- hot out here, that's all."

"Axel." I started. "I know you know that denying it won't make it stop. Just like not believing in gravity won't stop you from falling if I push you off this clock tower!"

"Yeah, but you wouldn't do that!"

"But if I did, you would still fall...Unless your that blue unicorn from _Charlie the Unicorn._ But your not, so please, go to the hospital or something!"

"Actually, can I be the pink unicorn?"

"Stop changing the subject." I said.

"Fine." He said. "I'll go later."

"Thank you." We finished our Ice cream, and started to walk back to my house to get Sora.

"And I'm the pink Unicorn." I said.

"Sora!" I called when we were in the house. Silence. "I guess no one's home."

"I guess not." Axel smiled evily.

"Uh...Axel...you're creeping me out."

"We're all _alone_, Roxy." He said.

"Axel uh...... Axel! Sometimes your just so-...So... Uh!"

"What?" He said innocently. "I was just gonna say we should order a pizza..." I felt my face heat up. "Roxas? What were _you_ thinking?" The evil smile was back. "I'm kidding, Roxas. I just like seeing you blush..."

I laughed awkwardly, looking around the room.

"Where do you think everyone went?" I aksed.

"I dunno. They're out somewhere, I guess." As if on cue, the door opened, and Sora and Riku walked in.

"Hey!" Sora said cheerfully as he sat down on the couch. "When did you two get here?"

"Just a few minutes ago." I replied.

"Why are you blushing?" Riku asked slowly.

"Because." Said Axel. "According to Roxas, I'm so 'Uh' sometimes."

"I did not say that!" I shouted.

"Yes you did."

"What do you mean?" Sora asked.

"Well, we were eating ice cream, and I was the pink unicorn, but he was all denying gravity, so I said I would push him off the clock tower, then he'd believe it, only he wanted to be the pink unicorn, then we came here, and Axel said he wanted to order a pizza, only he didn't really want to, cuz we were _alone."_ I said the last word slowly, and took a deep breath before continuing.

"And then I started blushing, cuz I know that's not what he really meant, and I guess I did say that he was "uh', but sometimes he is, ya know?"

Everyone was silent. They were just staring at me.

"I did it again, didn't I?"

"Yep." Everyone said in unison.

"Well, um, I'm gonna go now." I started to walk up the stairs.

"We're gonna go now." Axel corrected, and followed me. I don't know why, but I grabbed his wrist and kind of dragged him up the last few steps, dragged him into my room, then shut the door and giggled. _'Sora was right. That does run in the family.' _

Axel smiled. "Stil wanna 'order a pizza'?" He asked.

"Axel!" I exclaimed. "I know that's not what you meant."

He pushed me down onto the bed, and pinned my arms down. "Axel, really." I laughed nervously. He leaned down and kissed me quickly before getting up. Then I realized the door was open. Sora was standing in the doorway, trying not to laugh.

"Lock the door next time." He smirked.

"H-how long were you standing there." I asked.

" I dunno." He replied. "I just opened the door, and he was on top of you."

I groaned. I heard a thud similar to the one earlier. I spun around. Axel was passed out on the ground again. I panicked. My first instinct was to see if he was still breathing. Thank God he was. I picked him up, and getly layed him down on the bed.

"What happened." Sora asked.

"I don't know, but I know something's wrong with him." I replied. Sora looked down the stairs and started shouting.

"Riku, Riku, Riku! Riku! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiku!" Sora gasped for air. "RIKU!"

"I'm right here." Riku was standing behind Sora. "What?"

"Axel passed out. I don't know why." I said. He walked over and examined Axel. A moment later he said,

"I don't know what he has, but it's slowly sapping away his strength, wearing down his body, decaying-."

"Ok, I get it!" I shouted. Riku's words just then made me sick.

"He should really go to the hospital." Riku said.

"When he wakes up." I agreed.

"I don't know if there's time for that."

"What!" I picked up Axel off the bed, and ran down the stairs...That's when it hit me. "Shit, I don't have a car!"

"I'll take you." Riku's voice came from behind me.

'You have a car?" I was surprised.

"Yeah, now let's go." Riku looked worried too.

The stupid car ride took forever, because the stupid town didn't have a stupid hospital! Is that even legal? We had to drive an hour to get there, and I didn't really trust Riku behind the wheel. He said he had a car, but I wasn't entirely sure he had a lisence. Sora sat in the front seat, and I was in the back, with Axel's head on my lap. "Can't you go any faster?" I asked.

"What do you think!" Riku exclaimed.

"Where are we going?"

"Axel!" I exclaimed. "You're awake!" He still looked tired. I guess I was right because a moment later, his eyes closed again. "Dammit." I sighed. Actually, now that I think about it, I knew Riku had a car...

_"Hey, i'm getting a ride home with Riku 'kay?"_

Still, I didn't know if he had a lisence. "Can you hurry the Hell up!"

"Roxas!" Sora exclaimed. "Wern't you the one who said, (quote) 'What the hell, Sora. You shouldn't swear, it sets a bad example. Do you ever hear me swearing?'"

"Oh." I said. "Well, that was then, this is now."

I carried Axel into the hospital. Riku kept saying we should bring him to the emergency room, but I disagreed. "Leave that room for people with emergencies." I said.

We were stuck in the waiting room for about a half hour before htey called us in. By then, Axel was awake and could walk on his own, so I just waited outside. If anything was wrong, I didn't wanna hear it.

The suspense was killing me. Tick. Tick. Tick. Every second seemed like an eternity. After about 12 lifetimes, he came out of the room. His face was red and tear-stained. He didn't say anything, he just grabbed my wrist and dragged me back to the waiting room.

"Roxas." He said finally.

"Yeah?"

"I was never afraid of dying. I was only ever afraid of losing you. Now both are happening."

* * *

**I don't wanna kill Axel :(** but if I don't, it would kinda defeat the purpose of this story. Plus it's kionda hard writing about a fictional illness...but i don't know a lot about real illnesses, so I made one (without a name) that will work...:( anyway... review :P or not...i dunno

oh yeah... I don't own KH


	13. Chapter 13

**2409** words... Sorry it took longer than usual to update, as you can tell, it is my longest chapter yet (Even though, compared to a lot of other stoires, it's still short.) But i'm proud of it...And even though I wanted Axel to uh...die O_o in chaoter 13, cuz roxas is 13...but yeah, i'm not gonna do that, I just kinda ended it to. i dont own kh

* * *

**Chapter 13**

"I was never afraid of dying. I was only ever afraid of losing you. Now both are happening." To me, those words felt like I was being stabbed in the heart. I didn't want to hear them. I didn't want to believe them. The tears were already streaming down my face.

"No." That was the only word I could say.

"I'm sorry Roxas. The doctor said the disease has already spread to far, there's nothing any one can do."

"No. How long do you have?"

He sighed. "A week or two at best."

"No. No!" I shouted. "Your not leaving me, I love you!" Still sobbing, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. People in the waiting room were staring at us. Screw those people! I didn't care what they were thinkng! That was the worst moment of my life, I had a right to cry, and scream and stuff!

"Axel." I whispered.

You'd think that, after news like that, I'd have to be the one supporting Axel. It was the other way around. I barely knew how to walk. The ride back was silent for a while. Finally I said what was on my mind.

"I should kill myself now, and wait for you. No one would miss me."

"That's not true." Said Axel. "I would. and so would your brothers and friends."

"Your right." I sighed. What was I thinking? I guess I was just in shock...

Axel stayed at my house that night. I didn't want to be away from him.

"You know you don't have to be with me 24 hours." Axel said the next day.

"Yes I do."

He laughed. All the days were like that. They were exactly the same, yet in a way, they were all very different. I was with Axel almost all the time. (The only times I wasn't with him were like, if he was in the bathroom or something...) We would always eat ice cream, and just talk about completely random things. I know he told me why the sun set red, and gave me that know-it-all explination, but I couldn't help but think that after he was...Gone, that everything would change. The wouldn't set red, the rest of Hell would freeze over,(most of Hell already froze the day that Demyx showed up without Zexion) then the moon would explode, then the sun would explode because it no longer had the moon. That would be me. I would be the exploding sun, after my flame of hope died. The worst part was sleeping. I never knew if Axel would wake up with me, or if I would suddenly be alone one morning...

"I want to see the world." He said one day. "Maybe in the next life."

"No, let's go see the world now!" I exclaimed.

"Roxas." He started, "You haven't been with your family or friends for over a week, you should go see them.

"They'll understand." I insisted. "Let's go."

I gave him the directions to some old Ancient ruins...It was about a 2 hour drive "You call this seeing the world?" Axel laughed when we got there.

"It's part of the world!" It was beautiful place i've always wanted to visit. The whole place was surrounded with a thick green forest. Plants sprouted up from the ground. The whole place smelled fresh. And of course, there were some remains of some acient civilization. "It's beautiful." I said.

"I guess, if your into that sort of thing."

"Axel! You have to admit, it's really nice here!" (Face like this T_T again.)

"Your right. It's nice." He paused for a minute. "I want to spend every moment with you." I felt the tears start to come again. "Don't cry." He said. "I'll always be with you."

That didn't make me stop crying. It's always when someone says something like that to you, knowing they're gonna die, that makes you cry harder. And they keep trying to get you to stop, and you save each moment of that, knowing that one day, they won't be there to stop your tears anymore.

"Axel." I said. "I'll never forget you."

"You better not." That made me smile again. Then his eyes closed for a second, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-...open again...Closed. and Open.

"Don't go, Axel." I heard myself say.

"Go where?"

"You know what I mean! Stop closing your eyes, it scares me!"

"I can't help it." He said.

"Axel, this is the point where we have 3 choices. You can drive to the hospital right now, and hopefully make it, you can drive there later, and risk killing us both, or you can stay here and die! At least if we're at the hospital they might be able to do something." I looked over. He was no longer concious. "And you've just eliminated the first two choices." I sighed. This scared me more than anything. Plus, I was sick of him always doing this, first he's fine, then when I look again, he's almost dead!

(I guess right now I just sound really pissed off. Maybe I was, Maybe I still am. Mad at the world for doing this to him. For taking him away from me.)

I panicked and scooped him up in my arms. I made my way out of the forest. And that point I acutally looked quite calm. Maybe because I knew he would be gone sooner or later, and I was trying to accept that fact. How could I just accept something like that?

I was walking along the highway for a while, when a car pulled up and stopped next to me. My first instinct was to run, until I saw who it was.

"Marluxia?" I asked.

"Yeah." He replied. "What the hell happened?"

"I'll tell you later, just get us to the hospital!"

The hour drive felt like another 12 lifetimes. Then he was put into a hospital bed, with a shit load of tubes and needles and stuff sticking into him. I just sat in a chair beside his bed for a while. I guess I fell asleep, because the next thing I remember is hearing his voice, and looking at the clock. It was about 4pm. "Hey." He said. He sounded really weak.

"Hi." I said. "Doctor says you can't leave the hospital now."

"Oh." He replied. "Sorry for making you worry. Sorry for putting you through all this."

"It's not your fault." I said. For a while we just sat and talked like we would normally do on the clock tower.

"Hey, Roxas." He said suddenly.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Let's run away from here, just us." He said.

"What?"

"Just kidding." He laughed.

. "Roxas, go home." He said a few days later. "Get some rest, have something to eat, take a shower-"

"Hey, I take showers! It's not i've just been 100% with you the whole time." I replied.

"I know. You took showers when you were at my place, but you've been sitting here in the hospital for 3 days now. and you look really tired, you haven't been eating-" I cut him off again.

"I brought a change of clothes! And I have been eating! There is a vending machine in the hall."

"I mean eating properly."

"Fine." I said, defeated. "Just promise you'll still be here when I get back."

"Promise."

I sighed and walked out of the hospital room. Out of the hospital. Down the street. Around the corner. With every step I was tempted to run back and make sure he was still ok. When I opened the door to my house, Sora tackled me...Well, hugged me.

"Roxas, I was so worried about you, I haven't seen you for SO LONG!"

"Sorry, Sora." I started. "It's Axel, he's-"

"Oh, My, God! Did he break up with you!"

"No!. No, he's-." I heard a rather loud cough from behind us. Like a Hello-don't-ignore-me kind of cough. I looked behind Sora, and saw Demyx and Zexion. They were playing rockband or something, but I guess they stopped to stare at us, when Sora said 'break up.' I didn't really tell them about me and Axel, and I guess they just never figured it out... uh... Yeah, Awkward situation. Demyx stared at me for a few seconds, before shouting, "Hi, Roxas!" Zexion flinched.

"You were saying?" Sora crossed his arms.

I sighed. "It's not that at all... He's-"

"Is that Roxas?" I heard Leon in the next room.

"Uh, yeah." I said. "I was, uh, with...Axel..."

"I thought so." Leon didn't seem surprised. Sora's arms were still crossed, and he was tapping his foot impatiantly. Waiting for an answer.

"He's sick." I said. "He's in the hospital." That made Zexion look up from the microphone, and Demyx drop the guitar.

"Wow." Zexion said. "I guess you were right, when you said something was wrong with him."

"But he's gonna be ok, right?" Demyx burst out.

"He's gonna die." Was all I said. Everyone just stared. "He, uh, told me to take a shower, get something to eat, and then get a good night's rest. I realized it was about 10 at night. Everyone nodded, and started saying things like,

"Well, go shower then!"

"I'll clean your room."

"I'll order chinese."

"No, i'll make him something to eat."

"Just go shower!"

"I'll do laundry."

I guess they wanted to make sure I did what Axel told me to. As I walked toward the bathroom, Sora went back to the plastic drumset, and I could hear Zexion singing some screamo song. (I bet Demyx asked him to sing.)

A hot shower usually cleared my mind and made me feel better, but it didn't help this time. Thousands of random thoughts flowed through my mind. Useless thoughts, that had no relevance to what was really bugging me.

_-I wonder if Sora ordered Chinese food...Axel loved chinese food._

_-I wonder when It got so late._

_-I don't think Leon's really gonna do the laundry, I should borrow something from Axel_

_-I wonder song Zexion was singing_

_-Where's Riku, I didn't see him earlier_

_-It was dark when I walked from the hospital, I'm lucky I didn't get jumped_

_-How come I never took a shower with Axel...Wait...WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING_

That last thought snapped me out of it...I mean, not that it wouldn't be _nice_ to...Never mind, the point is, that thought snapped me out of my trance.I turned off the water, got out, dried my hair and put on a random pair of pants and the shirt I was wearing before. Actually, I think they were Sora's pants, I don't remember owning any skinny jeans...

"You're wearing my pants." Sora said, as I walked into the dining room. That confirmed it. "And the same shirt as before."

"I had no clean ones, I'll borrow something from Axel." I replied. Sora really did order chinese food, so that cheered me up a bit. I also hadn't really had a comortable sleep for a few days, so it felt good to be in my own bed again.

I woke up the next morning at 11:30am. I grabbed an orange from the fuit bowl, and walked over to Axel's house. There wasn't much variety in his clothing. Shirts from bands, shirts with wiritng, some name brand, some looked like they were from Moogle-Mart. Most of them were black. I almost decided to wear his _Tokio Hotel_ shirt, but instead I settled on a black shirt, with a bunch of red writing all over it. As an afterthought I took the _Tokio Hotel_ shirt, and stuffed it in my backback. Just as I was leaving, I heard a small metal _clank_ sound. I turned around. The number 8 on his house fell off. The 8 that reminded me of Axel. Barely hanging on. I started to run back to the hospital, afraid that something happened.

He was there of course, just like he promised.

"Your wearing my shirt." He said.

"Y-yeah." I said. "I needed a clean shirt, so I took one of yours..."

"It looks cute on you." He smiled. I hid my face in my hands. I looked around the room for a second.

"You didn't tell anyone you were...uh, sick." I said.

"I didn't want them to worry."

"You think they would have figured at something was wrong after being away from them for...how long? I don't even know anymore." I sighed. (I sighed a lot back then.)

"Axel!" I heard a voice shout. I turned toward the door. Demyx was was standing there, with Zexion behind him. Sora and Riku showed up a second later. I decided to let them talk to Axel, so I went into the hallway to get a snack. My friends needed time to talk to him, and I didn't want to get in the way.

Two chocolate bars and a Diet Coke later, I was still waiting outside...Of course, that's not saying much, because I ate all that in about 20 minutes. I decided to go back into the room. Everyone was talking and laughing like evrything was normal. It just didn't feel right. But I guess that's what Axel needed. A normal environment. I found it kind of weird when everyone suddenly shut up and stared at me when I entered the room.

"Let's leave them alone." Sora suggested. Everyone nodded, and left. I gave Axel a puzzled look; he just shrugged.

"You look so pale." I noted.

"I guess, it's because...I'm gonna die soon."

"I'm sorry." I said. "I- I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." Axel cut in. "Here, I want to give you something. Pass me my backpack."

I picked it up off the ground and handed it to him. He reached inside and pulled out a small red and black checkered notebook. There were silver lines outlining each square.

"Promise me you'll wirte in it, when I'm gone."

"Promise." Tears were forming in my eyes.

"And promise me you won't cry." He said.

"I- I can't promise that.

' Tears were already streaming down my face.

"Oh please. It's not like i'm gonna be gone forever."

"Umm..." I started. "Actually, you kinda ARE gonna be gone forever."

"I'll stay with you no matter what, and if any of those angels come to take me away from you, i'll burn them."

"That is so like you!" I laughed.

* * *

So, uh, yeah... This chapter was visously attacked by writer's block, and every two days, I would write a sentence or two...I just finished it today, and I started wiritng it a few weeks ago, so I don't remember half of what I wrote. Please review...or not!


	14. Chapter 14

_I knew it was going to happen eventually._

_He just closed his eyes. 1, 2, 3...Not opening._

"Axel?"

_The strange thing is that I didn't cry when it happened._

_Maybe I was trying to accept the fact that he was gone._

"Axel!"

_Maybe It was because I promised I wouldn't cry._

_But it was most likely because It hadn't sunk in yet._

"Wake up! Axel Wake up, Dammit!"

_My friends._

_My family._

"I love you!"

_They didn't understand the bond we had._

_How close we were._

"Love doesn't stop people from dying." I whispered.

_They heard me screaming his name._

_Doctors. Nurses. My friends._

"It's too late."

_Everyone burst into tears._

_Except me._

"Let's go home Roxas." I heard Leon say. "Roxas."

"Roxas?" Sora poked me, but I just felt numb.

"I don't wanna leave." My voice sounded dead." I stood up from the chair I was sitting on, and put on my backpack. Then I picked up Axel's backpack too. I stopped to look at him one last time. Motionless.

"Roxas?" Demyx asked. They were all worried about me. It was the first time I saw Riku cry. Sora wrapped an arm around him.

Demyx collapsed in a heap. Zexion comforted him. There was no one there for me.

On the ride home, no one sat in the passenger seat in the front. Sora sat on the left. Riku on the right. I was squished between the two in the backseat. Silent. I gripped my red notebook tightly to my chest. It was one of the only things that proved he existed. All I really had was that book, the joke ring from the party, (Which I was still wearing for some reason) and some of his shirts.

I guess I didn't hear Sora calling me, because the next thing I knew, He was carrying me into the house, up the stairs, then down on my bed. "It'll be okay Roxas."

"What will?" I guess my brain wasn't working, because I was speaking without thinking about the situation.

_The funeral. That's when it sunk in. I didn't have to wonder why all my friends and family were gathered in that building. I didn't have to wonder why everyone was wearing black. I knew. They were there because of Axel. Celebrateing his life. Mourning his death. Comforting the people that loved him. There were lots of his things gathered at the front of the room. Pictures of him. Pictures of me. The blue notebook he was always writing in. And a ring that looked like the joke ring that I refused to take off, only blue._

Everyone who knew him got a turn up at the microhone. They all had long speeches or poems about him, and the majority of them burst into tears. Their messages and poems all brought tears the eyes of the others. Except me. I didn't even blink. I said it sunk in at the funeral, but at this point, It hadn't sunk in yet.

When it was my turn to speak, I calmly walked up to the microphone. I didn't open up a peice of folded paper, or request any music. I simply scanned the audience for a second before saying,

"I love him," and then stepping down from the microphone. That's when the tears started to fall. And they wouldn't stop. I ran out of the room, and into the hall, pausing a moment to look back, before continuing to the bathroom.

"Roxas!" It was Sora. I turned around, and he handed me a tissue. "Roxas, are you...I guess I shouldn't ask that, I know you're not alright."

"I'm fine, Sora." More tears. The tissue was already soaked and crumpled into a ball. "I'm fine, he's still here...Still here with me. He promised, he's probably standing right over..." I didn't finish that sentence.

"I wanna be alone." I said suddenly. Sora shook his head, but left. I stared at the ring on my finger. It was the same colour as his eyes. Bright, Emerald green. I sat down on the floor and put my iPod on shuffle...Immediatly, _that song_ started playing. _Our song._ I don't to even mention the name because as soon as I do, the momories come flooding back with the lyrics...And such a coincidence it was, that it actually became _our song._ The random mindless singing on the clock tower, then the party, where the song started playing. And now here. Me, sitting on the floor, crying, because I would never get to hear him sing _our song _again.

This isn't a good writing thingy, it's just my Diary...uh...Journal. And I don't know why I write like i'm talking to someone. (e.g you know what I mean?) Because, it's not like anyone's gonna read this...So why am I even writing this...To ease the pain? Maybe.

If there's **one single **thing i've learned, it's that: My life was very uneventful without him, i'm not good at writing, I still have some irrational fear of poetry...(maybe there's a phobia for that) and Zexion and Demyx are together, and I never knew about it.

But if there's one single **important** thing i've learned, it's that spending about 4 days locked up in my room, barely coming out, not eating and not sleeping to write the story in my JOURNAL is a BAD IDEA... They think i'm going crazy, they think i'm still depressed. It's been a year since he...left. I'll find a way to live...I bet they think i'm planning suicide, or cutting myself or something. Writing Emo poems...I'm not. I'm just here to tell the story of my Axel, which is sad, because as I mentioned, no one is going to read this. (That last sentence is another example of me adressing a non-existant audience.)

I also wirte long explinations. To NO ONE...I've reached the last page in this book, so I guess i'm gonna stop writing now...I don't really want to end it, probably because I don't have a good closing sentence...Or because I don't want to go back into reality. But uh...OK, wait, yeah, I have a good closing sentence. But I just want everyone who isn't rading this, (because it's just me again) to know that I'll survive, I still have Axel's Tokio Hotel T-shirt and I originaly thought that if I wrote this, Axel would like, watch me write it, and see my point of view in the after life...

Sora just walked into my room, as I wirte, and he is poking me in the arm, and i'm finding it hard to write. So, good-bye, my non-existant audiecne.

I love you, Axel.

**~*~ Diary End~*~**

* * *

I thought this chapter was kinda short, but it's about average compared to my other chapters... There will be 1 or 2 more chapters, this is just the end of the diary entries...The best I can explain it is, it's gone back to like present time, instead of the past, and Roxas isn't narrating anymore, it's just...narrator...I'm not sure which POV to use...I haven't changed my very first chapter, because as you may notice, i've used like every point of view in that chapter...except 2nd point of view...lol (roxas had long explinations...but so do I, as you can see from this author's note...

please review, or not... XP

**And in the Author's rambling section of this note, i was doing a PAT exam, and one of the questions was like "What POV is this story in" and there are always 4 choices...and the choices were like:**

**first person  
second person  
third person  
FOURTH PERSON**

**and I was all like WTF**

(Song is: Only one, by: Yellowcard) (It was stuck in my head when I first started wirting this, so i thought: why not use it?"


	15. Chapter 15

There's gonna be another chapter...I just didn't want you tot hink I dissapeard off the face of the earth...I finished half this chap right after I finished chapter 14...but that was like 2 months ago. Since then, i've maybe added one sentence here and there, but tonight I suddenly had inspiration again...Sorry I made you wait so long for a story that isn't worth eaiting that long for in my onion...er, opinion. So i'm going to Montreal for 5 days... I just feel like rambling. I WENT TO ANIMETHON AS XIGBAR...SOMEONE HUGGED ME.

**I don't own kingdom hearts, as usual**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

"Roxas. Roxas!"

"Stop poking me Sora, what do you want?" I asked.

"Put down your stupid book and listen to this! I found out what's wrong with you!" He replied.

"Oh thanks!"

"No, no!" He said exitedly. "Listen to this." He pulled out a cue card. "Metrophobia, or the fear of poetry, is surprisingly common. Many people first develop this phobia in school, when overzealous teachers encourage them to rank poems according to artificial scales, break them down and search for esoteric meanings. Others simply feel that poetry is somehow "beyond" them, belonging only to the realm of the pretentious and highly educated."

"Wow, I didn't know you knew all those big words Sora."

"Really funny. You should thank me! I found out what's wrong with you!"

"You found out what's wrong with Roxas? Great!" That was Leon's voice. I sighed.

"I'm leaving." I took my notebook with me so Sora wouldn't steal it. I left the house and started walking down the path I always used to take to Axel's house. I stopped in front of where he used to live. Someone else lived there now, but it looked the same on the outside. After the funeral that day, more than a year ago, I went back to his house and took the 8 that was still lying on the grass. They had replaced it. **813**. I started to walk back when I saw someone running up to me. It was Sora.

"Roxas, Roxas." He said, out of breath. "Roxas, we're going out tonight."

"What?" I asked.

"We're meeting everyone at that chinese restaurant tonight."

"Why?"

"Because it's closing down, and this is the last day it's gonna be open. And there's a huge discount on groups of 5 or more...But it's good!"

"Fine, i'll go." I replied.

"You have to! Your'e our 5th person...Wait, what are doing in front of Axel's house?"

"His _old _house." I said sharply. "And i'm just going for a walk." I turned and walked back home, leaving Sora there.

* * *

4:58...I was supposed to meet everyone at 5... I hadn't even left the house yet. After a minute I decided I would join them. It wasn't a far walk. I reached the restaurant at about 5:10. Surprisingly, only Sora was there.

"Hey." I said. "Sorr for getting mad earlier."

"You were mad?" He asked.

"Oh...Well, never mind then." I smiled.

"Can I see your notebook?" Sora asked. "You've been writing in that thing forever."

"Sorry." I said. "I'm not letting anyone read it."

"We'll see about that." Sora grabbed the notebook from my hands. "Try and get it back, and i'll poke your eye out with a chopstick. You know i'll do it!"  
I sat there as he quickly flipped through the pages. On the last page he said,

"What's this?"

"What's what?" I asked.

"This." Sora pointed to the back inside cover. There was something wirtten on it...that I didn't write.

"Let me see." I grabbed the notebook from him and started to read.

_Hey Roxas. By the time you read this, i'm probably dead, so uh...hi! I hope you'll write in this book like I asked. Knowing you, you probably wrote in the whole thing already, and now you've just found this message, instead of flipping through the empty book like a normal person would.  
I just have to ask you one favor. If you wrote anything in this book about me, burn those pages. If you have any pictures of me, or if you still have that joke ring from the party, or anything else that proves I existed, burn it! I told you if I could choose how to die, I would burn. Well, this is close enough. Oh, almost forgot! DON'T BURN YOURSELF! That doesn't count!  
Go find someone you can be happy with, and forget me.  
I'll always love you,  
Axel._

When I was done reading the message, I noticed I was crying. Just a few tears though. I quickly dried my tears on a napkin, so no one else in the building would see me cry...But when I looked around, it was basically just me and Sora, and some elderly couple across the room.

I heard a soft voice coming from behind me. "Hey, can I take your order?" It was a girl about my age. She had short dark hair and blue eyes.

"Not yet." I said. "We're waiting for some friends."

"Ok." She replied. "Just tell me when you're ready to order. My name is Xion."

"Thanks." Sora said. After she was gone, he said to me, "She seemed nice!"

"Yeah." I replied.

"Wait I have an idea! After today she won't have a job which probably means she's not gonna be busy. We should invite her to the campfire on friday!"

"Sora...What campfire?" I asked.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, there's this campfire party on friday. There's gonna be snacks!"  
Just then, Demyx and Zexion walked in, and sat down with us at the big, round table.  
"Finally!" Sora exclaimed. "You're like, so late!" Sora pulled out his phone. He dailed a number.

"Riku where are you? I'm hungry." He said into the phone. I heard a jingle and looked up at the door. Riku just walked in. "Oh, I found you, never mind! Bye!" Sora hung up.

"Nice." He said as he took a seat.

"We're ready to order now." Sora said after a few minutes.

"I'll be right there!" Xion called.

* * *

"That was nice." Sora said, yawning.

"To you, all food is nice." I said.

"Food is the most important meal of the day." He replied.

"..."

"..."

Riku stopped the silence. "I think we should pay now," He said. He called Xion over to our table. She gave us the bill. Demyx took it.

"4000 munny!" He exclaimed. "Do you know what I coulda bought with that munny! That's enough for a new Sitar."

"That's 'cuz Sitars are cheap." Zexion said. "No one wants them." Demyx punched him.

"Okay, we'll divide the cost." Riku sighed.

"I forgot my wallet." I said suddenly. (I actually did, I wasn't trying to get out of paying.)

"It's okay Roxas." Riku said.

"I'll pay for you." Zexion offered.

"Thanks."

"Uh, I forgot my wallet too...!" Sora said.

"Nice try Sora." Said Demyx.

"How come you're all so nice to Roxy!" Sora yelled.

"Sora, you did this for him."

"Uh...What's going on?" I asked.

"I didn't want you to think about...Axel too much anymore. I knew where you were walking so I came up with the idea to get you away from his house for a while." Sora explained.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Thank you Sora. That means a lot to me." It did.

Xion came back to collect the munny. "Oh, Xion." Riku started.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if you would like to join us on the clock tower tomorrow for ice cream."

"Oh, I'd love to!" She exclaimed. "I'll meet you there tomorrow."

"And there's a campfire on friday too!" Sora added. "I'll give you the address." Sora wrote the address on a piece of paper and handed it to her.

"Hey, where is the campfire anyway?" I asked.

"At our house."

"How come I didn't hear anything about it?" I asked.

"Because you were writing all the time." He replied.

"Oh. Well anyways, it's getting late, I'm gonna go home. Thanks again Sora."

* * *

When I got home I checked the calender. It was Wednesday. What day was the campfire? Friday? "I really lost track of the days." I said to myself. "I should have been out of my room more often, but I just had to write down our story somewhere. I guess I feel a bit better, but I still miss you Axel." I sighed and walked upstairs to my room. I flopped down on my bed and instantly fell asleep...How many times had I done that in my life?

* * *

"Roxas, wake up!" I heard Sora calling me.

"Five more minutes, mommy." I joked, but I really was tired.

"Roxas it's past noon, we have to meet Xion in an hour!"

"It's what time?" I jumped out of bed and instantly ran to the closet to find fresh clothes.

"Uh Roxas?"

"Yeah Sora?" I aksed.

"I read your Diary last night after you fell asleep. I stayed up all night reading it. I just finished when I woke you up."

"Wow, you're a slow reader. Wait...You did what?" I felt the anger and the urge to punch something. Until I turned around. Sora was clutching my 'Diary' tighly to his chest, his face stained with tears.

"I think I understand your side of the story now. God, it was so sad, it made me cry." I saw tears forming in his eyes again. "If something like that happened to me I- I don't know what I'd do. I think i'd stop smiling...Sorry Roxas, I shouldn't have read this without your permission."

"It's okay Sora. I'm going to burn it anyway."

"After all that writing! You're crazy!" He exclaimed.

"I know what I have to do." I replied. "Now get outta my room, I gotta change...Unless you wanna stick around to see that." He was out of the room before I finished that sentence.

* * *

"Sora, why were you crying?" Leon asked. He saw Sora's face, some of the tear stains were still visible.

"'Cuz Roxy went though a lot!" He replied.

"So why are _you_ crying..You know, never mind."

"We're going tot he clocktower now. Bye Leon!" I called as I dragged Sora out the door.

"Someone's eager to see our friends." Sora smiled.

"...Maybe. It's just that I haven't really been out in a while."

"What about yesterday?"

"You know what I mean." I sighed. "Now come on, lets hurry!"

* * *

Animethon was awesome. This group of like 6 Organization XIII ppl came up to me and my friend so we joined them. We were trying to gather as many organization ppl as we could find... In the end there was Xigbae, Demyx, Saix, Riku, 2 Xion's, 2 Heartless, a Roxas, and 3 Sora's...It was the best. I got a picture with an Axel.

Again I apologize for any spelling errors I might have made, and how rediculously long it took to post this chapter. I was so lazy. sorryness


	16. Chapter 16

I don't get inspired very often, but when I do, I have to write right away, or I lose my ideas. That's why sometimes i'll update twice a day, and other times I'll wait two months. (Sorry again about chapter 15 taking so long.) That's also why I started writing this story in a random hotel room, and now i'm finishing it in the backseat of a car, coming home from Calgary...Yeah, long story...Anyways...Enjoy, even though no one likes endings lol. sorry for any spelling/grammar errors

I do not own kingdom hearts...for the last time :'(

* * *

"I bet you're just eager to see Xion." Sora grinned.

"Whatever Sora!" I replied.

Sora instantly changed the subject. "I'm buying the ice cream today., The other should already be waiting for us." We bought the ice cream and headed to the top of the clock tower. Riku and Xion were sitting on the edge, but Zexion and Demyx were missing.

"Where are Zexion and Demyx?" I asked.

"Demyx got the flu." Riku explained.

"Then where's Zexion?"

"Roxas you should know the answer to this already." Sora sighed. "Where one goes, the other follows...Plus I don't think Demyx should be left alone while he's that sick." I nodded and sat down next to Xion. Sora handed everyone an ice cream bar, then sat down next to Riku.

Nothing really eventful happened, but it brought back memories. Just sitting, eating ice cream, and talking about random things. It was comforting.

"So uh..." Xion started. "What was Axel like?" Sora and Riku instantly froze and turned to look at me.

"Uhh." Sora turned back to Xion. "Yeah, I forgot to tell you that Axel was uh...Roxas' boyfriend, so it's a sensitive subject for him."

Riku looked around nervously, trying to change the subject.

"It's okay." I said. "Axel was...well, he was perfect, he was everything. He could always make me smile, and laugh and stuff. when we were together, we didn't even have to do anything. We could just...be. And that would be enough. Sure I didn't know him very long, but I loved him more than I ever thought was possible."  
By now everyone was staring at me. I continued. "yes of course I miss him, but it's not a sensitive subject or anything, you can talk about him, it's fine."

Everyone seemed to relax a bit. "So uh...campfire tomorrow..." Xion said. "I'll be there."

"Say, how did Xion know about Axel?" I asked Sora when we got home.

"Oh I was texting her last night, we talked about lots of stuff..." Sora replied.

"So you told her everything about Axel, but it slipped your mind that he was my boyfriend?"

"I really did forget!"

"Riiiight." I said sarcastically. "So what do we need for the campfie?" I asked.

"Uh well, we need snacks and stuff. And we'll proabably have to pick up more wood for the fir pit thingy..."

"Oh god, you're not the one starting the fire are you?"

"Why can't I?"

"I just don't trust you with fire!" I exclaimed. "Remember what happened to the goldfish!"

:You're never gonna let me forget that are you?" Sora sighed.

"Nope. Well anyways, I should contact Zexion, and see if Demyx will be feeling well enough tomorrow to-"

"MARSHAMALLOWS!" Sora inturrupted me. "We need marshmallows!"

"Yeah right, whatever. And you have Xion's number, so you should just confirm everything, and the time and-"

"GRAM CRACKERS! We need gram crackers!"

"Sora stop doing that!" I yelled. "And Riku's your boyfriend, so you ask him about the-"

"CHOCOLATE."

"No, about the pizza for tommorrow." I explained.

"No I mean we need chocolate too."

"Well do you understand everything I said Sora?"

"Yes. I understand...I'll ask Riku about the chocolate too.."

"Sora, do you want me to punch you?" I threatened.

"Remember what happened last time you tried to punch me?"

"Yeah, but there's no brick walls to try and kill me this time!"

"Oh god...LEON! Roxy's gonna kill me!" Sora yelled up the stairs.

"Roxas, don't kill Sora until he pays back the money he owes me!"

"Real suportive Leon!" Sora called.

I didn't sleep much that night...Actually I didn't sleep at all. I spent an hour trying to sleep, then I gave up and started reading my diary again, knowing the best thing to do was burn it. After that I looked through my desk drawer until I found the ring Axel gave me. And I took the number 8 I stole from his house. I put the three items together in a pile on my desk. 4:30am. I still had a whole day to kill. I walked downstairs into the kitchen. In the dark I managed to find my way to the fridge. I opened it, and the sudden burst of bright light hurt my eyes. That's when I noticed Sora sitting in the kitchen. His face was burried in his hands. I took a Monster energy drink out of the fridge, before sitting beside Sora in the complete darkness. Even though I coldn't see, I could tell he was crying. "Sora what's wrong?" I asked.

"No." He said.

"You'll feel better if you tell me." I took a sip of the energy drink.

"No." Sora said again.

"Fine. I see how it is. the Sora I know is long gone." Axel used to say that so me all the time.. It always made me say what was on my mind.

"Riku broke up with me!" Sora said suddenly.

"What, why?" I asked. His reply made no sense. It was a few random words, mixed with sobs. "That's terrible." I said anyway.

:You dunno wha' I said." Sora sobbed some more.

"It's still terrible. When did this happen?"

"Late last night. I got a text from him, saying he was breaking up with me. He didn't say why! He just did, then he blocked me from his contacts list..."

Me and Sora stayed in the kitchen for the rest of the night, and talked about getting revenge on Riku, and other things. I know you're not supposed to have more than like 2 energy drinks a day, but by the time the sun was up, me and Sora had about 3 each. We heard footsteps coming from the top of the stairs. Leon was awake.

"Hey it's not very often you're awake before me." He said. Then he looked at Sora, and all the empty drink cans on the table. "Am I even gonna ask if you fell asleep last night?" He sighed. "Well whatever, all that sugar and caffeine will keep you awake."

Yeah Leon was a good gaurdian...He was our brother, so he was more laid back then a father would be, and he could connect on more levels than parents could...Of course I still missed my Mom and Dad.

"We should go get the supplies for the campfire." Sora said.

"That reminds me." Leon started. "I heard it might rain later tonight. Rent some movies just incase it does. If that happens, some people might wan to stay over."

"You're okay with that?" I asked.

"Yeah i'm not gonna be here. Just don't smoke weed or anything."

Sora and I both laughed. "No promises." Sora winked and skipped out the door. I followed him.

"Sora, maybe you should have combed your hair." I said.

"Maybe you should have combed yours! Mine always looks messy so nobody can tell if I combed it or not."

We picked up the party supplies and snacks, and went back home. I don't really think energy drinks work on us, because we both fell asleep when we got back and didm't wake up until about 5:30.

"Crap we should get ready now." Sora yawned. "People will be here in about half an hour."

I ran downstairs and grabbed the lighter before Sora could get to it. I went to the backyeard and arranged the wood in the 'fie pit thingy' beofre I added my diary, the ring and the 8.

"Roxas, what are you doing?" Sora asked.

"I have to burn this stuff." I explained.

"Okay...You do that then."  
I lit the fire. Then I saw Demyx and Zexion walking towards us.

"Knock knock!" Demyx called.

"Who's there?" Sora asked.

"Uh...We are..." Demyx said. He didn't get it. I was glad to see Demyx was feeling better at least. "Look what we brought!" Demyx exclaimed. He held out a small package. "It's that stuff you put in fires and it makes it different colours! And Zexion got marshmallows!"

"YES!" Sora shouted.

"Uh...Hello?" A quiet voice called.

"Oh hey Xion." I said. "Everyone's here now, so we're gonna start."

"Uh what about-" The look in my eyes told her not to say anything more. "Okay then let's start!" She said.

"God you're almost as quiet as Zexion!" Demyx laughed.

"I talk." Zexion said.

"Yeah, those were like the only two words you said so far."

"We wern't here that long." He replied.

I let the others talk as I turned back to the fire. I watched the smoke rise into the sky. All my memories of Axel were in that smoke.

"Maybe my thoughts will reach you now." I said quietly.

"Okay let's start this party!" Demyx shouted suddenly.

We had enough time to roast marshmallows and then watched the fire change colours before it started to rain... Everyone ran for cover, but I kept wacthing the dying remains of the fire.

"What's up Roxas?" Sora asked.

"It's like tears being poured on my memories..." I explained.

"Well come on, you're gonna get soaked." Sora replied. I followed him inside.

Demyx brought some horror movie that he demanded we watch...Yeah I was sure it was gonna give me nightmare's...

"God who knows what could be hiding under my bed." Demyx shivered..

Zexion spoke up. "That's why I don't like beds that are risen up off the ground."

"Why?" We all asked.

"Well did you ever think that there could be some psycho hiding under there with a really long sword? He could stab the sword through the bottom of the bed and kill you in your sleep."

We were all silent for a moment.

"Anyways." Demyx changed the subject. "Lets watch Spirited Away."

For some reason we all agreed to watch it.

The end of the movie left Demys moved to tears, Sora bored to tears, and me and Xion were neutral about it. I don't know why but I let her rest her head on my shoulder. "Roxas." She said suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to do something together tomorrow?"

"Sure." I replied.

"Okay." She smiled. "My house is uh... It's down a few blocks, I don't rmember the street name, but it's house 813, it's by the-"

"Yeah." I said. "I know where it is."

* * *

Arrgg, it doesn't sound like an ending at all...sounds like a chapter ending...Or more like a new beggining...But if Riku didn't break up with Sora then I could have ended it here forever...Well i'm gonna post a thanks to all the people that reviewed soon...hopefully...and any question you might have about the story or the characters, i'll answer them there...I hope after all the waiting for these last 2 chapters that you still remember who I am lol

**Also, vote if you would like to see a sequal...please :) I don't think I could end it forever in its current situation...**

_Well I had fun writing this, and I hoped you liked it...considering it's my first story ever...and my only sucessful story. lol._


	17. Thanks Sequal?

Hey, I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who read this story

**813 countdown (813 countdown is now Flame's Little Star, but check out the stories on this account too, cuz i think they rule.)**

**Ace Bellamanx Productions**

**A Beautiful Oblivion**

**AkuRokufanGirl1312**

**Rina-Koto**

**Dawnstep**

**Flame's Little Star**

I think I got everyone... If i didn't, sorry, i'll add your name... When I first started writing this story I loved it...I had so much inspiration and it's really helped me improve my writing. Except after Axel died I seriously lost all inspiration and I didnt know what to write, even though I had it planned out from the beggining. Apparently people liked this story until I took 2 months to update, and the update wasnt really worth the wait. And i'm sorry for that. I'm also sorry I totally killed the ending...Nothing really ended. That means there has to be more, I just refuse to let this story go! It's here i posted my first story, my first chapter right after I made my account, I got my first review and it wasnt flames...

I seriously had so much planned for this. Sroa and Riku's story, Zexion and Demyx's story, Axel's past, and a sequal... I mean, there kinda HAS to be a sequal, theres still so much going on... What about sora and riku? Xion? Cloud? I dont even know lol...well I kinda have an idea, but i'm not saying lol..

The point is thank you for reading and im sorry about the 'ending'

* * *

_**I want 3 reviews about the story just in general, but especcially what u thought of my ending, before I will even speak of another related story to this one again.**_


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